Teams are inquiring about Alfonso Soriano for some reason

18 Comments

Ken Rosenthal says that teams are “kicking the tires” on Alfonso Soriano. I can only assume this means that they are kicking in anger, like you might kick the tires of your car when it breaks down on the side of the road. Not like you would when you were considering an investment in a quality used automobile.

Which leads me to ask: what, if anything, does kicking the tires on a car actually do? Is the car supposed to fall over if it’s no good? Is there a certain satisfying sound you’re supposed to get, not unlike when you plunk a melon in the grocery store?  Also: if I ask to look under the hood but I know nothing about cars, is there something specific I should pretend to do so the salesman doesn’t take me for the rube I am?  So many questions.

Back to Soriano: he’s owed $54 million over the next three years. People say stuff like “if the Cubs were to eat most of his salary …” but, really, even then, who wants Soriano?  He’s probably a DH at best now, and even then he’s a bit-of-power/no-OBP skills option.

Which of course means that the Braves will probably get him and stick him in left field. God, why do I bother to think these things through?

Mets sign Matt Kemp to minor league deal

Matt Kemp
Getty Images
1 Comment

The Mets have had a lot of injuries in their outfield. How many? So many that they’re bringing in Matt Kemp, who they just signed on a minor league deal. Hey, why not? He’s functionally free.

Kemp was released by the Reds earlier this month after batting just .200/.210/.283 over 62 plate appearances. While he was a pretty useful player for the first half of the 2018 season for the Dodgers, the odds of him making major contributions to the Mets this year are probably about the same odds there were on Adrián González making an impact when the Mets signed him last year. But again: what’s the harm?