In which baseball’s newsmakers are compared to “The Princess Bride” characters

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Linked with very little comment because none is really needed, Bill Parker explains how Clint Barmes is Princess Buttercup, Bobby Valentine is Miracle Max, and Dan Shaughnessy is Vizzini from “The Princess Bride.”

And to preempt your comments: (1) yes, it’s a slow news day; and (2) no, I can’t help myself when it comes to “Princess Bride” stuff. Basically, if you put baseball together with that, or Batman or some of my sci-fi obsessions, I’m probably gonna like it more than I should. You can call me a dork if you want to, but understand this: you’d be quite right to do so.

Which reminds me: I put Twitter Questions on hiatus during the playoffs because for some strange reason people wanted to spend their Wednesday evenings watching baseball rather than asking my for my thoughts on Battlestar Galactica. But baseball is over now, so we’re going to crank that up again soon.  Probably not this week because of the holiday, but next week sounds nice.

Set phasers for obscurity.

Jesus Luzardo beats Marlins in salary arbitration

Atlanta Braves v Miami Marlins
Megan Briggs/Getty Images
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ST. PETERSBURG, Fla. – Pitcher Jesus Luzardo became the second player in two days to beat the Miami Marlins in salary arbitration and was awarded $2.45 million.

Miami had argued for $2.1 million during a hearing Thursday before a panel of John Stout, Melinda Gordon and Richard Bloch.

AL batting champion Luis Arraez, an All-Star infielder acquired by the Marlins from Minnesota last month, was awarded a $6.1 million salary on Thursday rather than the team’s $5 million figure.

Luzardo, a 25-year-old left-hander, was 4-7 with a 3.32 ERA in 18 starts last year, striking out 120 and walking 35 in 100 1/3 innings. He is 13-18 with a 3.59 ERA in 45 starts and 16 relief appearances over four big league seasons.

Luzardo made $715,000 last season and was eligible for arbitration for the first time. He can become a free agent after the 2026 season.

Players have won two of three decisions this year, with about 20 more scheduled for hearings.

Seattle defeated Diego Castillo in the first decision this year on Wednesday, and the relief pitcher will get a raise to $2.95 million rather than his request of $3,225,000.

A decision is being held for Los Angeles Angels outfielder Hunter Renfroe, whose case was argued Monday.