I wasn’t even aware that they let Len Dykstra out of jail, but apparently he’s free on bail because according to this farkakte press release that readers Jonny 5 and Bicepts each brought to my attention, he’s free enough to where he’s going to fight Jose Canseco in one of those ghastly celebrity boxing match things. And when I say “ghastly,” it refers to just how horribly these things mangle the concept of “celebrity.”
Dykstra is a last minute replacement for the guy who got “famous” for crashing the White House party last year with his wife. And then his wife ran off with the guitar player for Journey. And I wish to God that I was (a) making that up; and/or (b) didn’t know it off the top of my head. I need to step away from the Internet.
Anyway, I can’t think of how either Dykstra or Canseco can sink any lower. Don’t get me wrong, they will sink lower, of this I have no doubt. I just can’t think of how they’ll do it.
Nothing went right for the Blue Jays this weekend. The club was swept in a four-game series against the Athletics, including a 9-2 loss on Sunday. Not wanting to burn out his bullpen in a lopsided game — and perhaps thinking about the general entertainment value involved — Blue Jays manager John Gibbons decided to send designated hitter Kendrys Morales out to pitch the ninth inning. And in typical baseball fashion, he saw better results than some of the dudes who do this all the time.
Morales, who actually pitched in Cuba nearly 20 years ago, worked around a walk for a scoreless inning. He induced three fly outs and topped out at 87.4 mph on his fastball, per Brooks Baseball. He received a standing ovation on the way back to the dugout. Morales hasn’t been hearing that sort of thing for his contributions with the bat recently.
Morales, 34, is batting just .163/.248/.279 with three home runs through 32 games this season. There’s been some understandable clamoring for top prospect Vladmir Guerrero, Jr. to cut into his at-bats. For his part, Morales has been doing everything he can to break out of his slumber at the plate, including ditching the glasses he started wearing during spring training. Hey, whatever works. Morales also had two of Toronto’s four hits on Sunday.
On the heels of Morales’ first MLB appearance on the mound, it feels rather appropriate that the Blue Jays will get their first look at Angels sensation Shohei Ohtani — at least as a hitter — beginning on Tuesday.