You asked me questions on Twitter. So I shall answer them.

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I’d say there were approximately 50 questions on the theme of “why do the Braves suck?”  Please forgive me for not answering them all.

Q: Why do the Braves suck?

Because we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us.

Q: If the Braves do indeed kill you, what song do you want to get played at your funeral?

Like there can be any debate about that (link goes to video).

Q: “Moneyball” is getting 92% on RottenTomatoes. How excited are you that this is actually going to be a good movie??

I’m rather surprised. Based on some stuff I heard a while back I had totally expected this to receive a general “meh” from the critics, who would recommend it only for the baseball obsessives. I just worry that it will make a ton of money and get Oscar nominations now. Because if it does, you know someone will want to try to go to that well again, and the most obvious target is Jonah Keri’s “The Extra 2%” book about the Rays. I’m fairly certain Jonah would become insufferable if that happened.

Q: Which fan base is more troublesome? (read: worse) Phillies fans or OSU Buckeyes fans?

I can’t be objective here because I’m an OSU alum and fan, but I’m told — and secretly suspect — that we’re like Yankees fans. Nothing short of the best is good enough and even the best is achieved, we bitch and complain. I don’t think there’s a Phillies-fan angle here. There is a profound lack of insecurity on the part of most Buckeyes fans. It’s actually highly annoying.  We’re pretty good at bad behavior, though.

Q:  wut is your faverite slidshow and why?

That was from someone making fun of Bleacher Report. Look, I have my issues with Bleacher Report, but they’re at least trying to get better, so I’ll give them that.  And really, there is so much we wouldn’t know about the hot wives and girlfriends of sports figures and “underboob” if it weren’t for the God’s work they’ve been doing there for so many years.

Q: A world without DHs, a better world?

I’m pretty sure that there would be no crime, poverty or human suffering if the DH were abolished. I can’t be sure, though, so perhaps we should test it.

Q: Question 1: WHY GOD WHY?

Maybe it’s just society?

Q: Follow-up Question: *choke* *sob* *sniff*

I know. I know. Let it all out … just let it all out …

Q: 1991 World Series who do you hate more? Kent Hrbek or Lonnie Smith?

I can’t hate Lonnie Smith. He was a man who was being true to himself. Lonnie Smith always was a flaky screwup. He gave Braves fans hope — or at least something fun to watch — in those dark, dark years in the late 80s. I wanted him not to screw up as much as anyone and I actually felt bad for him when it happened, even though it did enrage me. Hrbek can go jump in a friggin’ lake.

Q: What are your feelings on carpaccio?

I can’t talk about it now. The feelings are … too raw.

Q:  Kershaw, Halladay, or Lee?

I hope this isn’t one of those FMK questions. Assuming it’s about the Cy Young, I dunno, Kershaw?  There is no way to argue that a vote for any of them is wrong in any serious way.

Q: Do you think of 2Pac whenever someone says “Hit ’em up” like what just happened to me reading your tweet?

Of course I do, because I’m a white dude in his late 30s, and thus my hip hop frame of reference is necessarily 15-20 years out of date. That’s just how we do.

Q: American Idol or X-Factor?

What are those, brands of athletic shoes? Gatorade flavors? I’m afraid you’ve lost me.

Q:  I have a perfect baseball/Galactica combined question but I dont know how far into the show you are.

I just got to the episode where they captured Baltar and gave him the drugs/tortured him for interrogation purposes.

Q:  Ah, ok. I’ll have to hold off on this one. Hows this: On a scale of 1-10, how badass was jumping Galactica onto New Cap?

That was pretty damn amazing. I give it an 11. One thing I have to say about the special effects on Galactica: they manage to give weight, for lack of a better term, to the ships and the battles that stuff on Star Trek or Star Wars never really had. When one of the battlestars opens up with its big guns, it feels like there is some serious firepower coming to bear, not unlike on a real navy ship.  When Galactica jumped into the atmosphere on New Caprica, it felt like, damn, the whole thing might come apart, making the attack/rescue plan all the more dramatic. Maybe the physics are just as bad on that show as they are in most other sci-fi shows, but it’s just way, way more satisfying than the stuff you usually see.

Q: Did you watch the old Battlestar Galactica in the 70’s? I thought John Colicos was a great Baltar. Old series was better. This is epic, no?

I vaguely remember watching it when I was a kid. Enough to where I remembered that the ships were called vipers, there were characters named Starbuck and Apollo and that the Cylons had little red lights for eyes, but I have no memory of the show as an actual dramatic thing.  When I’m done with the recent series, I may go back and watch the old one just to see what it was like.

Q: Here’s a question: how can something like Troy Davis happen in a first-world democracy in the 21st century?

I really wish I knew. I’m anti-death penalty on principle, so feel free to assign a healthy amount of bias to me on the matter, but I’m not quite sure how — even if you can’t bring yourself to question the actual conviction — the sketchy nature of the evidence against Davis doesn’t give you pause when it comes to actually executing the man. Which is, you know, irreversible.  I’m also struck by the fact that it’s often the same people who believe that the government can do nothing right when it comes to the economy, regulation, diplomacy, immigration and everything else under the sun but then believe that government is suddenly infallible when it comes to taking a person’s life.

Q: How can I make an airline connection, but my luggage can’t?

The damn FAA and all their rules, I’m sure. Stupid government shouldn’t be allowed to oversee something as important as business travel.

Q: What’s the proper reaction to my roommate when he brings home single-ply toilet paper?

Dude, look in the mirror. Don’t trust your roommate to handle stuff as critical as your toilet paper, OK? If, however, he simply ignored a direct request for 2-ply, feel free to stab him in an area that will only wound, not kill.

Q: If you had an entire day to do things with Jose Canseco, what would you do? Give us your itinerary.

7AM: Grand Slam breakfast at Denny’s; 9AM: some time in the batting cage; 11AM-2PM: tanning; 2PM-5PM: Trying to cash checks on Ozzie Canseco’s account; 5PM-8PM:  writing a chapter for the next tell-all book, but this one will be 100% fabricated because, really, who’s gonna sue Jose Canseco?; 8PM-Midnight: writing tweets about how our ex-girlfriend is a horrible monster/how we can’t live without her.

Q: What should a woman baseball fan say to her boyfriend/husband who doesn’t love baseball to get him to see Moneyball?

You should break up with/divorce any man you’re devoting your life to who doesn’t love baseball. Really, just cut your losses here. As a woman who loves baseball, you are what we with the Y chromosomes call “a catch.”

Q: Was there anything you enjoyed about practicing law?

The women.  Oh, wait, that’s not true.  Actually, yes, I got a lot of satisfaction out of certain aspects of the law. I liked working on a brief, as long as it was my brief instead of some committee job. It’s a lot like blogging, actually. Come up with an argument, find some links/citations that bolster your case, try to state your position as clearly and persuasively as possible. There’s a great feeling you get when you write something like that.  I also liked the oral arguments. Kind of thrilling and scary at the same time, but in a good way. At least if my case wasn’t complete dog poop.  Thing is, however, that in the kinds of places I worked (large firms) you don’t get tons of chances to do that stuff. The money comes in from working on big complex cases where you’re engaged in discovery for months or years and where the sexy stuff is handled by gray hairs or, even if you get to do it, you’re micromanaged.  If I had to do it all over again I’d probably try to build a small practice where I could be in court all the time and have more autonomy. The money would suck, but if I learned one thing while at law firms, it’s that money doesn’t make up for day-to-day misery.

Q: Would the Phillies have won (at least) 110 games if Chase Utley were healthy all year?

Easily. And they would have won 140 if people weren’t so unfair to Ryan Howard.

Q: If the Phillies sweep their way through the entire playoffs, will you consider shutting down HBT for the off-season?

Nah, gotta keep the day job. But I may turn off the comments.

Q: You have to choose one to live and one to die: Jar-Jar Binks or Aquaman?

God, and I thought “Sophie’s Choice” presented some tough questions.

Q: ‘Craig Kimbrel’ is an anagram for ‘Karmic Rib Leg’. I feel you need to know this.

This is important. This means something.

Q: What are you thoughts on Thomas Hobbes and his contributions to contract philosophy?

Given the way people complain about how solitary, poor, nasty, brutish and short life is even when it’s just a matter of the power going out for a couple of hours, no, I have no problems whatsoever going along with the idea of people wanting to leave the state of nature in exchange for a bit of governing.

Q: Do you like hockey? If not, would you pick: The Marlins (Panthers), the Yankees (Red Wings), or the Rays (Sharks)?

Interesting analogies. Other hockey fans: do those hold up?  They seem to, based on my limited knowledge of the current state of the NHL.  To answer the question: I enjoy going to a hockey game, which I do here in Columbus once or twice a year. I have just never been motivated to really get into the sport at all, though.  Which is weird because I come from a family with a lot of hockey love in it, what them all being from Michigan and half of them being Canadian. They’re all Wings fans, and my brother has kept that up.  If I were to suddenly get into hockey I’d probably just start rooting for the Blue Jackets because, hey, they’re local and it might be fun to get in on things when they suck. Which they have done for their entire decade+ of existence, but that’s neither here nor there.

Q: Thoughts on the Twilight kid wearing an “ironic” Roberto Clemente jersey in the trailer for that piece of sh** movie?

From what people tell me, he and that film crew pretty much annoyed everyone in the city of Pittsburgh while filming there last year. So I guess it’s nice that he’s holding form. And it’s a pretty major statement when your role as the handsome werewolf in those “Twilight” movies isn’t being referred to as the worst thing you’ve ever done.

Q: X-wing or tie fighter? Which one would you rather have?

X-wing. I’d like to have an astro-mech droid keep me company on those long flights.

Q: If George Lucas released an updated version of the 1975 World Series, what would he change?

There would be a herd of Banthas wandering behind Carlton Fisk as he waved that home run fair over the Green Monster. And the Green Monster would have extra tentacles and stuff.

Q: What will be the total game time of a potential Sox/Yanks ALCS?

Hahahahahah!  Like the Red Sox are gonna make it to the ALCS. You guys slay me.

Q: Why does Theo Epstein let bad things happen to good people?

Poor planning.

Q: What, besides the Cardinals having been in 1st place, can we credit to Ryan Theriot for his time as a starting SS?

Look, all I know is that when he was the starting shortstop R.E.M. was still a band, the Braves had a big lead in the wild card and a possibly innocent man in Georgia had not been put to death. It is what it is.

Q:  Feelings on R.E.M breaking up? Fellow baseballer Keith Law got snarky on them earlier today.

I think Law’s comment was about how they hadn’t been relevant for 20 years. He overstates it a bit — New Adventures in Hi-Fi was a fantastic album — but he’s not too far off.  Rock bands have a life span, and R.E.M.’s had been up for a while. That said, they were an outrageously important band to me in the 1980s. Everyone loves to listen to the silly one-hit wonders of that decade, but if you were looking for anything of real substance or importance or seriousness in that decade, it was slim pickings. The Replacements, obviously. U2 to some extent, though they were way too self-conscious and occasionally overblown to scratch that itch.  Hip hop if you knew where to look.  And, of course, the IRS-years of R.E.M.

And unlike just about every other important band ever, R.E.M. had a second act. I know there are purists who deride their Green/Out of Time/Automatic for the People/Monster years, but they’re just being jackasses. Though serving entirely different purposes than the IRS stuff, those albums were fantastic for a dozen different reasons. It’s rare that I go a week without listening to Automatic for the People. It’s beautiful and haunting and came along at a point in my life where it will always be important to me. Monster gets slammed a lot, but it’s great fun.

Things went sideways after New Adventures, and I’ll admit that I tuned out almost completely. It happens. And it’s better for a band to break up than to come some oldies jukebox, touring just for the sake of it, or some outfit that keeps going back to the same old well, over and over, hoping that it will somehow have water in it again after it has long since dried up. [cough] U2 and RHCP [cough].

Thanks for all the questions, folks. I think this is the record for “most questions I was unable to get to” for this feature. Which is kind of troubling to me because I always want to try to answer as many as I can. But it’s also pretty cool that you guys seem to have as much fun with this as I do.

Let’s meet again here next Wednesday night/Thursday morning.

A’s running out of time to find home in Oakland, Las Vegas

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LAS VEGAS — The Oakland Athletics have spent years trying to get a new stadium while watching Bay Area neighbors such as the Giants, Warriors, 49ers and Raiders successfully move into state-of-the-art venues, and now time is running short on their efforts.

The A’s lease at RingCentral Coliseum expires after the 2024 season, and though they might be forced to extend the terms, the club and Major League Baseball have deemed the stadium unsuitable for a professional franchise.

They are searching for a new stadium in Oakland or Las Vegas, but they have experienced difficulties in both areas. The A’s missed a major deadline in October to get a deal done in Oakland, and there has been little indication they will receive the kind of funding they want from Las Vegas.

“I think the A’s have to look at it in a couple of ways,” said Brendan Bussmann, managing partner at Las Vegas-based B Global. “Obviously, they have struggled in Oakland to get a deal across the line. It isn’t for a lack of effort. . You have an owner that’s willing to pony up money, you have a club that wants to sit there and figure out a way to make it work, and you keep running into obstacles along the way.

“It’s time to fish or cut bait. Oakland, do you want them or not? And if not, where are the A’s going to get the best deal? Is it Vegas? Is it somewhere else? They’ll have to figure that out.”

What the A’s are thinking is a little bit of a mystery. Team President Dave Kaval was talkative earlier in the process, saying the A’s are pursuing two different tracks with Oakland and Las Vegas. But he went silent on the subject several months ago. A’s spokeswoman Catherine Aker said mostly recently that the club would withhold comment for now.

The A’s have been negotiating with Oakland to build a $1 billion stadium as part of a $12 billion redevelopment deal.

Newly elected Mayor Sheng Thao said reaching a deal is important as long as it makes economic sense to the city. Her predecessor, Libby Schaaf, led prior efforts to reach an agreement, but after the city and the A’s missed that October deadline, MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred expressed reservations a deal will ever get done.

“The pace in Oakland has not been rapid, number one,” Manfred said at the time. “We’re in a stadium situation that’s really not tenable. I mean, we need to do something to alter the situation. So I’m concerned about the lack of pace.”

Recent California history justifies his concerns. SoFi Stadium in Southern California and Chase Center in San Francisco were built with private money, and Levi’s Stadium in Santa Clara was 90% privately financed.

“And then I think there was some contagion where around the country people realized these deals could be done well privately and could generate a return on investment to those investors,” said David Carter, a sports business professor at the University of Southern California. “Why are we throwing public money at it at all?”

That’s also a question being asked in Las Vegas, even though the Raiders in 2016 received $750 million from the Nevada Legislature for a stadium. That then was the largest amount of public money for a sports venue, but it was surpassed last March by the $850 million pledged to construct a new stadium for the NFL’s Buffalo Bills.

Another deal like the one for Allegiant Stadium, where the Raiders play, appears unlikely in Nevada. T-Mobile Arena, which opened in 2017, was privately financed. An arena planned for south of the Las Vegas Strip also wouldn’t rely on public funds.

Las Vegas, however, has shown financing creativity. Its Triple-A baseball stadium received $80 million in 2017 for naming rights from the Las Vegas Convention and Visitors Authority. Room taxes fund the authority, so it was public money in a backdoor sort of way.

Clark County Commissioner Michael Naft, who is on the board of the convention authority, has spoken with A’s representatives about their interest in Las Vegas and said he is aware of the club’s talks with other Nevada officials. He said the A’s are taking a much different approach than the Raiders, who identified Las Vegas early as their choice landing spot after many years of failing to get a new stadium in Oakland.

“When the Raiders decided to come to Las Vegas, they had a clear plan,” Naft said. “You had a clear body that was tasked with assessing the worth and the value, and they committed to the destination. I have not seen that from the Oakland A’s at any level, and it’s not really our job to go out and beg them to come here because we have earned the reputation of the greatest arena on Earth. We have put in both the dollars and the labor to make that the case.

“I think I’ve made myself clear, but from conversations with others, I don’t think I’m alone on that.”

New Nevada Gov. Joe Lombardo “will not raise taxes” to attract the A’s or any other team, his spokeswoman, Elizabeth Ray, said in a statement. But she said the club could qualify for other ongoing “economic development programs,” which could mean tax breaks similar to what Tesla received in 2014.

Manfred said in December that the A’s relocation fee would be waived if they move to Las Vegas, a savings to the club reportedly of up to $1 billion.

“We’re past any reasonable timeline for the situation in Oakland to be resolved,” Manfred said then.

Naft said Allegiant Stadium filled a hole that went beyond landing an NFL team. It allowed Las Vegas to attract major sporting events such as the Super Bowl and Final Four and major concerts such as Garth Brooks and Elton John that “in many cases we would not otherwise have.”

He said he doesn’t believe a baseball stadium would accomplish that, and sports economist Victor Matheson agreed.

“I think there’s a real question about how much people are willing to watch baseball in Las Vegas,” said Matheson, a professor at College of the Holy Cross in Worcester, Massachusetts. “It’s not like locals don’t have a huge number of entertainment options right now, and it’s not clear exactly how much people might travel to watch baseball in Vegas, either.”

If the A’s truly want to be in Las Vegas, Naft said they need to make that clear.

“I just believe you can’t play destinations against each other,” Naft said. “If you want to come here and you want to be met with open arms, you’ve got to commit.”

Should the A’s fail to reach an agreement in Oakland or Las Vegas, they could consider other destinations such as Charlotte, North Carolina; Nashville; and Portland, Oregon. Whether they would have the time to explore such options is another question.

Oakland has already shown it will watch the Raiders move to Nevada and the Warriors go across the Bay Bridge to San Francisco.

Las Vegas, Matheson noted, is hardly in a desperate situation. He also expressed caution that Las Vegas could go from being among the largest metropolitan areas without a major professional sports team to among the smallest with three franchises.

“So you’ve gone from kind of being under-sported to being over-sported in a short period of time if the A’s were to go there,” Matheson said.