The Giants are trying to shoo the seagulls away

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She swallowed the spider to catch the fly, but I don’t know why she swallowed the fly. I guess she’ll die:

For years, the San Francisco Giants’ regular seagulls cooperated so nicely: They flocked to AT&T Park after the final out to scavenge for treats like leftover popcorn, pizza or garlic fries.

Those gulls have become more pesky and plentiful of late, creating a problem for fans during games on occasion this season. So, now, the Giants are considering bringing in a resident falcon to help fend off the birds and keep them at bay out where they belong – above the bay.

This happens at a ballpark or two every year. And while I understand how nature works, I do always find it funny that the solution to a pest is to invite a killer bird of prey into a building with 40,000 people in it every day.

And as a result of watching way too many bad movies in my youth, I always wonder (hope?) that the falcon will develop a taste for human flesh and turn on its keepers and the fans at large.  They then bring in some old shaman-type stock character (played by a fading actor who made a couple of decent movies in the 70s but is now down on his luck) who claims to know the ways of the Falcon,* and he too is eaten. As is always the case, the day is saved by some plucky teenagers.

*Note: “Ways of the Falcon” would be an excellent title for this direct-to-video feature.

Marcell Ozuna scratched from Cardinals lineup because he overslept

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Derrick Goold of the St. Louis Post-Dispatch reports that Cardinals outfielder Marcell Ozuna was scratched from Wednesday afternoon’s starting lineup because he overslept and missed the scheduled report time to the ballpark. Ozuna appeared in the on-deck circle late in the game but didn’t get a chance to pinch-hit as the Cardinals lost 5-2 to the Royals in 10 innings. The lowly Royals took two of three in the series.

The Cardinals acquired Ozuna from the Marlins back in December. He hasn’t hit much for the Cardinals thus far, batting .253/.295/.331 with three home runs and 22 RBI in 190 plate appearances. He was an All-Star last year, finishing with a .312 average and a .924 OPS along with 37 homers and 124 RBI.

It’s amusing reading some of the replies to Goold’s tweet. More than a handful of Cardinals fans are upset with Ozuna for oversleeping. Who among us has not overslept for school or work? Of course, a lot of the antipathy has to do with Ozuna’s lack of hitting. If he had a .900 OPS, it would be a lot easier for fans to forgive him.