Major League Baseball has Bartolo Colon’s medical records

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“OK, let’s open these up and take a look.  Hmmm … blood type … blood type … sir, it says ‘gravy’!”

Major League Baseball has received medical records on Bartolo Colon’s stem cell treatment. The New York Yankees pitcher had the treatment in the Dominican Republic in April 2010. Baseball spokesman Pat Courtney said the records were received Tuesday and it would take time for them to be reviewed. The records are in Spanish.

I’m sure that if there really were banned drugs used in those procedures Colon received that the medical records produced over a year later and after a great controversy about them occurred would totally contain accurate information. Nope, no way that the post-ruckus, foreign language medical records that could mean the end of the career of both the doctor and the patient if they said the wrong thing could be anything other than 100% accurate and exhaustive.

Astros clinch postseason berth with 11-3 win over Angels

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No surprise here: The Astros are headed back to the postseason to defend their title following a landslide 11-3 win over the Angels on Friday. This figures to be their third playoff run since 2015, though they have yet to wrap up the AL West with a division title.

First baseman Yuli Gurriel led the charge on Friday, smashing a grand slam in the first inning and tacking on a two-run homer in the second and RBI single in the fifth to help the Astros to a seven-run lead. The Angels eventually returned fire, first with Mike Trout‘s 418-foot homer in the sixth, then with an RBI hit from Francisco Arcia in the seventh, but they couldn’t close the gap in time to overtake the Astros.

On the mound, right-hander Gerrit Cole clinched his 15th win of the year after holding the Angels to seven innings of three-run, 12-strikeout ball. His sixth strikeout of the night — delivered on an 83.1-MPH knuckle curveball to Kaleb Cowart — also marked the 1,000th strikeout of his career to date. He was backed by flawless performances by lefty reliever Tony Sipp and rookie right-hander Dean Deetz, both of whom turned in scoreless innings as the offense barreled toward an 11-3 finish with Jake Marisnick‘s sac bunt and George Springer‘s three-run shot in the eighth.

Despite having qualified for the playoffs, the Astros still carry a magic number of 6 as they look to clinch a third straight division title. They’re currently up against the Athletics, who entered Friday’s contest against the Twins just four games back of first place in the AL West.