Major League Baseball has Bartolo Colon’s medical records

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“OK, let’s open these up and take a look.  Hmmm … blood type … blood type … sir, it says ‘gravy’!”

Major League Baseball has received medical records on Bartolo Colon’s stem cell treatment. The New York Yankees pitcher had the treatment in the Dominican Republic in April 2010. Baseball spokesman Pat Courtney said the records were received Tuesday and it would take time for them to be reviewed. The records are in Spanish.

I’m sure that if there really were banned drugs used in those procedures Colon received that the medical records produced over a year later and after a great controversy about them occurred would totally contain accurate information. Nope, no way that the post-ruckus, foreign language medical records that could mean the end of the career of both the doctor and the patient if they said the wrong thing could be anything other than 100% accurate and exhaustive.

Chris Paddack loses no-hit bid in eighth inning vs. Marlins

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Update (9:16 PM ET): Aaaaaand it’s over. Just like that. Starlin Castro led off the eighth inning with a solo home run to left field. That ends the shutout bid as well, obviously.

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Padres starter Chris Paddack has kept the Marlins hitless through seven innings on Wednesday evening in Miami. The right-hander has allowed two base runners on a throwing error and a walk while striking out seven on 82 pitches.

The Padres’ offense provided Paddack with three runs of support, all coming in the fourth on Greg Garcia‘s RBI single and a two-run home run by Austin Hedges.

Paddack, 23, entered Wednesday’s start carrying a 2.84 ERA with an 87/18 K/BB ratio across 82 1/3 innings in his rookie campaign.

Among all 30 teams, the Padres are the only one without a no-hitter. They came into the league in 1969. The Marlins were last victims of a no-hitter on September 28, 2014 when Jordan Zimmermann — then with the Nationals — accomplished the feat.