Manny Ramirez is the Dodgers’ biggest creditor

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Whenever you file for bankruptcy, you have to file a list of your creditors.  The Dodgers filed theirs — see the whole filing here — and it’s a fun list:

  • Manny Ramirez, $20,992,086
  • Andruw Jones, $11,075,000
  • Hiroki Kuroda, $4,483,516
  • Rafael Furcal, $3,725,275
  • Chicago White Sox, $3,500,000
  • Ted Lilly, $3,423,077
  • Zach Lee, $3,400,000
  • Kaz Ishii, $3,300,000
  • Juan Uribe, $3,241,758
  • Matt Guerrier, $3,090,659

Other creditors include: Marquis Grissom — who hasn’t played for the Dodgers forever — and Vin Scully, who is owed $152,778.  I don’t care if the other guys get stiffed, but if Scully doesn’t get paid, I’m takin’ a blowtorch to Frank’s mansion. One of ’em anyway.

My favorite part, of course, is that Manny Ramirez is the top creditor. Someone can correct me if I’m wrong, but it’s my understanding that creditors usually have to make legal appearances in bankruptcy proceedings. I can’t wait to see Manny’s legal filings. I assume that they’ll be hand-written, in either crayon or with the burnt end of a pizza crust, on letterhead from hotel on the planet Mars.  And he’ll send it via some sort of royal courier. Or by carrier pigeon.