David Ortiz stole a base. That actually happened.

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When someone tells me that the DH rules because pitchers can’t hit, I have historically responded by saying “well, it ain’t like watching David Ortiz run the bases is a thing of beauty either.”

I take it all back. Every word of it. Because this was poetry in frickin’ motion. The form. The grace. Sheer beauty.

Everyone on the Padres who had a part in this play ought to be fined severely and/or flogged.