Look, if I have to see fat hairy Bob and his wife Betty up on the jumbotron when they do the kiss cam thing, I had better not hear that ballpark security is out on the concourses trying to keep a couple of nice ladies who are in love from kissing one another. Wait, what? Oh, Minnesota …
Taylor Campione and Kelsi Culpepper — two lesbian women from Minneapolis — were recently scolded by a Target Field security guard for what they call a “brief kiss.” After seeing the quick peck on the lips, the guard told the women that “we don’t play grab ass here” and that they must “adhere to the 10 Commandments” while at the stadium.
The guard has been reprimanded and apologies issued, but Campione and Culpepper are going to pursue a discrimination complaint with the Minnesota Department of Human Rights.
But you know what gets me more angry here than the whole homophobia angle? The 10 Commandments comment. Not because it brings religion into the ballpark, but because the Twins themselves are already violating them. Take the second commandment:
Thou shalt not make for yourself a carved image–any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.’
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you a carved image of the likeness of something that — depending on what you think of him — is either in heaven or beneath the earth:
And I won’t even go in to the serial violations about keeping the Sabbath holy. Unless you count a 1pm start against the White Sox “holy.” Which, frankly, it may be.