Awful humanity ruins Bernie Brewer promotion

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Sometimes I hate people. People and their grubby-ape fascination with baubles, tchotchkes, gewgaws, trinkets and kitsch, replacing the old ape instincts of hording fruit stores or whatever the hell else we did when we weren’t beating each other senseless with animal bones in front of monoliths:

The Milwaukee Brewers were hoping for an enthusiastic response to their “Where’s Bernie?” promotional program. They weren’t expecting fan stakeouts, Internet auctions and isolated reports of lawn-ornament hoarding. Brewers spokesman Tyler Barnes said fan response to Tuesday morning’s scavenger hunt-style promotion was “staggering,” though team officials were disappointed that some fans didn’t play by the rules.

It didn’t take long before social networking websites were buzzing with complaints about some fans staking out workers who were stashing the statues well before sunrise, then snapping up armfuls of ornaments as soon as they were hidden.

Take one. And be happy for what it is, not for what you can get for it or for the fact that you and your stinkin’ paws can get so damn many.

This is why we can’t have nice things, people.

Kolten Wong exits game with elbow contusion

Kolten Wong
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Cardinals second baseman Kolten Wong was pulled from Saturday’s game against the Brewers after sustaining a right elbow contusion, according to a team announcement. The full extent of the injury has not been revealed, nor is it clear when Wong might return to the lineup, though he’s presumed to be day-to-day for the time being.

Wong suffered the injury in the third inning. He reached base on a line drive single to right field, his first of the evening, and was accidentally struck on the elbow when Wade Miley made an errant throw to Jesus Aguilar on a pickoff attempt. The 27-year-old second baseman has already seen his season shortened by injuries after sustaining a right thigh contusion and, more recently, dealing with a bout of chronic inflammation in his left knee. He entered Saturday’s contest batting .238/.323/.388 on the year with eight home runs, and a .711 OPS through 330 PA.

Following the incident, Wong was replaced on the field by Greg Garcia at the top of the fourth inning. The Cardinals currently lead the Brewers 4-1 in the bottom of the sixth.