T.J. Simers pays to go to a Dodgers game, just like a fan

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I’ve had my issues with T.J. Simers in the past, but sometimes his curmudgeon act — though it may not be an act — is pretty damn funny. Like today’s column in which he eschewed the press pass and bought tickets to go see the Dodgers-Diamondbacks game the other night.  The point, I think, was to try to understand what it was all of the Dodgers fans who aren’t going to games this year are missing. Or, rather, what’s keeping them away.

I gotta say, he makes a pretty good case for the stay-aways. It’s pricey and the product the Dodgers are putting on the field isn’t exactly thrilling.  But the real reason to read the story is that there are a couple of howlingly funny lines. Like this:

I know this, the guy who owns this team must be really doing well — raking in all this money. The Dodgers announce a crowd of 30,000-plus almost every night.

And this:

I just can’t get over it — $70 to watch a baseball game! Throw in concessions, parking and kids — and why would anyone ever have kids if they intend to keep going to baseball games?

Or is it just me that finds that funny?

Bryce Harper is pandering hard to Philly fans

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Bryce Harper hadn’t even addressed his new hometown fans before his Phillies jersey started selling like hotcakes. Since then, he’s said all the expected things. Talking about joining the Phillies, he said, “From day one, it felt right … I always talk about family and being a family, being one unit, and I get that from this team. Every guy has your back and vice versa. I’m very excited to go into battle with these guys.”

Harper is continuing to pander hard to Phillies fans. Behold his latest Instagram post:

Has anyone ever really longed to see the Liberty Bell?

Harper also famously recreated that Chase Utley scene from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia with actor Rob McElhenney on Twitter:

In Harper’s next post, he will talk about alternating bottles of You-eng-ling beers with glasses of “wooder.” He’ll add that every so often he will treat himself to a steak sandwich with cheese on it, then go home to watch all of the movies in the Rocky series.