Tony La Russa employs political decoys

17 Comments

Strong leaders have used political decoys for centuries. While primarily a security tool/assassination defense, political decoys can be an effective means of political control as well.

Indeed, if prudently deployed, they can make the leader appear more robust and active than he otherwise is, showing up on battle lines, shaking his fist defiantly at those accursed rebel fighters in the morning and appearing at the unveiling of the 50-foot statue in his likeness at the central square of the capital city that same afternoon (with statue portraying the leader shaking his fist defiantly at those accursed rebel fighters).

It’s really a fascinating concept, even if it’s one that I was wholly unaware of until the highly underrated movie “Moon over Parador” was released in 1988.

In related news, Tony La Russa is a strong leader who, at present, is somewhat incapacitated. Taking a page from the book of Manuel Noriega, Raoul Cédras, Enver Hoxha, Fidel Castro, Saddam Hussein and Kevin Kline in the movie “Dave,” La Russa employed a decoy at the exchange of lineup cards before this afternoon’s Cubs-Cardinals game.

While the information is highly classified, our spies tell us that the decoy is actually Kyle Lohse in a wig.  Which, if it wasn’t evident from the pic to the upper right — a screencap posted to Twitter by @sportshuman — is clearly evident based on the tattoos in the pic below, posted to Twitter by our own Drew Sliva:

Get well soon, Dear Leader!

UPDATE:  And now video!

Phillies, RHP Taijuan Walker reportedly agree to 4-year deal

Kyle Ross-USA TODAY Sports
0 Comments

SAN DIEGO – The active Philadelphia Phillies added Taijuan Walker to their rotation on Tuesday, agreeing to a $72 million, four-year contract with the right-hander.

A person familiar with the negotiations confirmed the move to The Associated Press on condition of anonymity because it was pending a physical.

It was the second major free-agent score for the Phillies at the winter meetings after they reeled in shortstop Trea Turner on Monday with a $300 million, 11-year deal. Walker and Turner join a Phillies team that made it to the World Series this year before losing to the Houston Astros.

The 30-year-old Walker went 12-5 with a 3.49 ERA in 29 starts this season for the New York Mets, one of Philadelphia’s biggest NL East rivals. He slots into a rotation fronted by Zack Wheeler and Aaron Nola.

The Phillies recently lost pitcher Zach Eflin in free agency to Tampa Bay.

Asked about the market for Walker earlier in the day, agent Scott Boras said it was robust.

“As you can see in the marketplace, there’s a whole number of pitchers that are throwing 60 and 70 innings that have been pursued, probably with the exception of (Jacob) deGrom, at the lower end of threshold around $13-15 million a year because the demand for quality pitching is so great,” Boras said.

“So, Tai … is one of the younger ones, one of the more durable ones and we expect him to be pursued greatly as his market unfolds.”

Walker was selected by Seattle with the No. 43 pick in the 2010 amateur draft. He made his big league debut with the Mariners in 2013.

Walker signed with New York as a free agent in February 2021. He turned down a $7.5 million player option last month in favor of a $3 million buyout, making his deal worth $17 million over two seasons.

The 6-foot-4 Walker made the All-Star team for the first time in 2021, putting together a fast start before fading to a 7-11 record with a 4.47 ERA in 30 games, 29 starts.