Luke Scott on Obama’s birth certificate: “Anybody can produce a document”

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That sound you hear is Luke Scott’s agent and most of the Orioles’ front office simultaneously slapping their hands to their foreheads in exasperation as they read Sam Mellinger’s column in today’s Kansas City Star. You know, the one in which Luke Scott continues to be a birther despite the release of Obama’s birth certificate:

“(President Obama’s) birth certificate has yet to be validated … If they can counterfeit $100 bills, I think it’s a million times easier to counterfeit a birth certificate, if you ask me. So, all it is, let’s just see if it’s real. Anybody can produce a document, so let’s check it out.”

The rest of Mellinger’s column is, as usually, pretty sharp. Like me, he’s not going to lose sleep that there are people like Luke Scott playing baseball for a living. I mean, they’re paid to hit and throw the ball, not hold forth on the topics of the day.

But even so, you can’t help but marvel at the crazy seeping from his pores.

Joey Gallo turns his apartment into a batting cage

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While everything going on these days — the illnesses, the stress on the medical system, the stay-at-home-orders, the loss of mobility and the loss of work — hits poor and working people harder than it does well-paid professional athletes, the jocks have their own set of challenges too.

For example, Dallas, like almost everyplace else, is under stay-at-home order in response to the pandemic. That means that Texas Rangers slugger Joey Gallo can’t go to Globe Life Field and take his hacks in the batting cage as usual. So what’s a guy in his position to do?

Why, set up a cage in his de-luxe apartment in the sky:

Given how hard Gallo hits the ball, I’m sort of freaking out watching this, worrying that one bad bit of partial contact is going to shatter his windows. But I guess that’s a Joey Gallo problem.