Adam Kennedy is the Mariners’ designated hitter and batting cleanup tonight (seriously)

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Last season the Mariners ranked dead last in baseball with 513 runs, which was 74 runs fewer than the 29th-ranked Pirates and a historically inept total.

They’ve been slightly better so far this year, ranking 24th in scoring, but their lineup for tonight’s game against the Royals might be more embarrassing than anything that happened last year because of this:

Adam Kennedy is starting at designated hitter and batting cleanup.

Yes, the same 35-year-old Adam Kennedy who batted .249 with a .327 slugging percentage in 135 games for the Nationals last season, has hit .266 with a .361 slugging percentage during the past five years, and has never cracked 15 homers or a .450 slugging percentage in his 13-season career.

He’s starting at DH. And batting cleanup. For an MLB team. In mid-April. Gonna be another long season in Seattle.

Giancarlo Stanton to begin rehab assignment tonight

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Giancarlo Stanton will begin a minor league rehab assignment Monday with High-A Tampa. That according to the team’s Tweet to that effect.

Stanton has been on the injured list since April 1 due to a left biceps strain and a left shoulder strain sustained in what Aaron Boone called a “funky swing” at the time. Figure he’ll need a week or so of minor league games to get back to playing speed.

At the time Stanton’s injury seemed to be a catastrophic thing for the team’s chances, but after a sluggish start the Yankees have been on fire for weeks and now sit in first place in the American League East.

Still, getting Stanton back will be a big boost for the New York lineup. He’s hit a few homers in his time, I hear.