Kevin Mitchell gets probation for attacking a guy on a golf course

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You may recall how, last fall, former Giants slugger Kevin Mitchell repeatedly punched a guy on a golf course after the man “had spoken disparagingly about him earlier.”  Apparently that’s frowned upon in California, and Mitchell pleaded no contest to the charges in March.  Yesterday he was sentenced to three months probation and anger management classes.

The best part of this report, though, is that it contains some stuff from a preliminary hearing we missed from a few months ago:

Leonard Lerma said Mitchell started throwing punches on the 13th hole.

“I want to show you who I am, motherf–ker,” Mitchell said, according to Lerma’s testimony in a preliminary hearing. “I’m an old school gangster.”

Perhaps the craziest thing about this is that the ire between the two had started a week earlier when the victim of the assault — who had taken golf lessons along with Mitchell one morning — was bad mouthing the instructor later, saying that the instructor ruined his game, only to have Mitchell defend the instructor’s honor.  Not the kind of thing you expect from “old school gangsters,” but not without honor either.

And in Mitchell’s defense, golfers who complain about someone else ruining their game are insufferable jerks who probably could use their ears being boxed by former NL MVPs. It’s the entire reason I’ve kept Andre Dawson on my personal payroll since 1987. You know, just in case.

Victor Martinez played his final major league game on Saturday

Victor Martinez
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After 16 years in the majors, longtime Tigers DH Victor Martinez capped his career with one final start at Comerica Park. Although there are seven games remaining in the club’s regular season schedule, Martinez said he felt he owed it to the fans to record his final at-bat at home. He’ll still cheer the rest of the team on from the dugout when they hit the road for their last six-game stretch on Monday, though he’s not expected to slot into the lineup at any point during their back-to-back away series against the Twins and Brewers.

In order to commemorate the occasion, the Tigers arranged a pregame ceremony to celebrate the veteran infielder’s seven years with the team, during which they presented him with Topps baseball cards, a recliner, a pair of boots, and a saddle, among other honors. Martinez also put in a special request to play first base, a position he hadn’t manned in over two years.

The 39-year-old didn’t waste a single minute of his final start in the majors. He deftly handled an inning-ending out in the top of the first, then laced a rare infield single to short in his first and final at-bat of the afternoon, beating the throw to first and advancing Nicholas Castellanos to second base in order to set up the Tigers’ first run: a two-out RBI single from Niko Goodrum that brought Castellanos home to score.

“I think that at-bat was the perfect at-bat to describe my career,” Martinez told reporters after the Tigers wrapped a 5-4 win over the Royals. “I had to sweat it out. I had to sweat it out the whole way. I had to grind it. That was my whole career.”

Following the hit — and the standing ovation that greeted it — the switch-hitter was promptly replaced by pinch-runner Ronny Rodriguez, who subbed in at second base in the top of the second while Goodrum shifted from second to first base. Taking Saturday’s performance into account, Martinez polished off his big league career with a lifetime .295/.359/.455 batting line, 423 doubles, 246 home runs, 1,178 RBI, and 28.4 fWAR across 1,973 games and three separate stints for the Indians, Red Sox, and Tigers. His accomplishments at the plate have been decorated with five All-Star nominations, two Silver Slugger Awards, and the designated hitter-exclusive Edgar Martinez Award following a career-best campaign in 2014.