Obama will not be at Opening Day

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In case you care about such things:

The White House and the Washington Nationals say President Barack Obama is skipping the season opener, despite a standing invitation for the first fan to throw out the ceremonial first pitch.

What is there, a war on? Oh, yeah. Well, I suppose there is.

Look, I’m going to level with you: if I were President, most of my energy in the job would be to get free crap that no one else can get. I’d be throwing out first pitches to the point where teams would start feeling awkward and trying to make excuses for me not to come. I’d be calling command performances by bands who haven’t played together in years (“Well, Mr. Biafra, I don’t care if your spoken-word tour has sold out coffee shops all over the Pacific northwest. I want you, Ray and the others setting up in the Rose Garden and playing “Holiday in Cambodia” by Friday, or else you’re all getting audited”).

Maybe this isn’t the kind of president America wants. But it’s the kind of president America needs. Because life was a lot more fun back in the 90s when our nation was preoccupied with silly b.s. most of the time and fewer people were getting bombed.

Donaldson ejected for kicking dirt on plate after home run

David Banks-USA TODAY Sports
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Minnesota’s Josh Donaldson managed to get ejected while hitting a home run.

Donaldson barked at plate umpire Dan Bellino for the second time in the sixth inning of a 4-3 loss to the Chicago White Sox on Thursday.

With the score 2-2, Bellino called a strike when the 2015 AL MVP checked his swing on a 2-0 pitch from Reynaldo Lopez.

Manager Rocco Baldelli came out to speak with Bellino, and Donaldson homered down the left-field line on the next offering. After rounding the bases, Donaldson kicked dirt at home plate as he crossed it.

Bellino ejected him immediately, and Donaldson, realizing he had missed home plate, returned to the plate to touch it and then argued as he kicked more dirt on it.

Donaldson also had argued with Bellino on a 1-1 breaking ball in the first inning that appeared to be high but was called a strike, leading to a strikeout.

“We need Josh on the field, out there playing, and at third base,” Baldelli said. “That’s when we’re at our best. And so that’s really the end of it. I think we can move past it at his point, and go from here.”

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