News flash: Jeffrey Loria says something stupid

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Maybe it really is a news flash and not just an ironic one. Loria usually does stupid thins as opposed to saying them publicly. I’ll leave that analysis to someone who can stomach thinking about Jeff Loria for more than the time it takes me to do this post and then go cleanse my psyche with non-Loria thoughts.

Anyway, here’s Jeffy, unhappy with how the Marlins are doing:

“I’m not happy,’ he said in the clubhouse during the seventh inning of Florida’s 6-3 loss to Tampa Bay. Asked about his team’s play so far, Loria quickly vented his frustration.

“Uninspired baseball … Inconsistent and not acceptable. Very few guys have focused on what they’re here for. Very few … I know it’s only spring training, but it’s time to take a look in the mirror. We’re better than this. It’s time to show it. We need to be playing as a team and we need to hit.”

It’s spring freakin’ training. And while one can identify bad habits and bad signs in any given player over the course of the spring, I have yet to see any study whatsoever that shows a link between a team’s overall performance in spring training and how they do in the regular season.

And really, that’s what Loria’s on about here: the losses. Because nowhere in his quotes does he identify actual problems with the team other than the losses. He dismisses injuries — which is one of the few things that are relevant about spring training — and talks about “effort” and “inspiration” and other intangible hokum about which he knows very little. It’s the kind of thing you hear guys discussing in sports bars and on talk radio. Any serious baseball person knows that Loria is speaking in empty platitudes here. The Marlins haven’t won in spring training while he’s been down there. That’s all he knows. Boo-freakin’-hoo, Jeff, it’s irrelevant.

But there is something awesome about the story: the accompanying photo of Loria holding a stopwatch or a cell phone or something while “checking the pitch speed on Jhan Marinez.” As if he knows something about baseball other than how to make money in it and destroy franchises.  It’s like a fantasy camp for billionaire art collectors who fancy themselves scouts or GMs or something.  Cute!