The cops who arrested Miguel Cabrera made the prosecutor’s job more difficult

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When you have a nearly blind-drunk guy taking swigs from a bottle of scotch while sitting in his car mere minutes after threatening to blow up a bar for not serving him and then swerving all over the road, you probably have a pretty strong DUI case.  So you could understand why the prosecutor in the Miguel Cabrera case may get a little mad about the behavior of his star witnesses.

Seems that the arresting officers were joking with one another about their celebrity suspect, comparing him to members of K.C. and the Sunshine Band and Molly Hatchet in terms of big names they’ve arrested.  Oh, and in the midst of all of this jocularity, they neglected to get dashboard video of their interaction with Cabrera and their arrest.

Without a breath test, the testimony of the officers is critical to establish Cabrera’s drunkenness. With all of the joking around, the officers’ credibility is taken down a peg. Without dashboard video, there is nothing to corroborate the officers’ word.

It’s probably not enough to let Cabrera walk or anything — indeed, the likelihood of him pleading out to get this behind him is pretty high — but it’s this sort of thing that makes prosecuting attorneys pull their hair out.

(thanks to Karen S. for the heads up)

Ichiro wore a fake mustache to sneak into the Mariners’ dugout

Associated Press
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Ichiro Suzuki is now a Mariners employee and, as such, he’s not allowed to sit in the dugout during a game. That’s for coaches and players only.

He knows that, too. Indeed, on the day Ichiro announced his sorta-retirement, he talked about how it was going to be hard not to be down on the field with the other players. He even made a ridiculous joke about how, “[he] can’t say for certain that maybe [he] won’t put on a beard and glasses and be like Bobby Valentine and be in the dugout.”

In related news, this mysterious stranger was seen by an Associated Press photographer in the Mariners dugout during the first couple of innings of the M’s-Yankees game:

(AP Photo/Bill Kostroun)

No beard, but I guess that joke was not very ridiculous after all. Either way, by the end of the second inning — poof — he was gone.

Obviously, when something interesting like this happens you mustache an expert for their opinion on the matter. To that end, the Associated Press reached Bobby Valentine, who famously did the same thing after an ejection way back in 1999, for comment:

“He was perfect. I never would have known it was him.”

Valentine was suspended for two games and fined $5,000. I’m assuming Ichiro won’t get hit quite as hard given that he wasn’t defying an umpire’s authority, but even if he does have to pay a fine, he’ll likely do so willingly.