The Dusty Baker anecdote you could have gone your whole life without hearing

27 Comments

FOX’s Jon Paul Morosi passes along an anecdote about Dusty Baker’s final dark days as the Cubs’ manager that, I am quite certain, is unique in the history of Major League Baseball:

“At the very end, somebody took a dump right where I stood in the dugout every day,” Baker said Monday morning. “That was the low point. The grounds crew guy cleaned it up. He said, ‘Oh, I think it’s dog crap.’ I said, ‘No it ain’t. That’s human crap.’”

Dusty doesn’t know who did it. I find it hard to believe that a fan is gonna schlep a bag of crap to the ballpark.  And even if the plan was, um, put together in a bathroom in Wrigley Field, there would be too many other fans who would see the drop.  No: this was an inside job. A player or a coach did it in the wee small hours of the morning before Duty Baker made his way to the dugout.

But who did it?  Looking at the roster of the 2006 Cubs suggests all manner of suspects. Michael Barrett wasn’t well-liked on that team.  Todd Walker had his share of attitude issues during his career. Greg Maddux has a history of scatalogical pranksterism.  Really, it could have been anyone!  Well, maybe not Neifi Perez. That dude practically owed his career to Baker. He’d probably take a bullet for the guy.

The real question is whether anyone saved the evidence.  Because while it’s likely not possible now, I’m sure someday technology will help us make a positive ID.

Anyone?

Braves are targeting Dallas Keuchel

Getty Images
Leave a comment

LAS VEGAS — Let’s start our first weekday of the Winter Meetings with some rumors and speculation. We’ll have a good bit of that until, you know, something actually happens.

First up: Dallas Keuchel, the top free agent pitcher remaining on the market. Jon Heyman says the Braves, who are in the market for a starter, are targeting him. In this they are not alone, as the Phillies, who missed out on Patrick Corbin, and the Reds, who would like a pitcher who doesn’t allow a lot of fly balls are each reported to be focused on Keuchel as well. There was a random report that the Blue Jays were interested in him too, but that seems off to me given where they are on their rebuild.

Keuchel, who will turn 31 on New Year’s Day, was 12-11 in 34 starts last year, posting an ERA of 3.74 in 204.2 innings. His peripherals have declined fairly consistently since his Cy Young season in 2015, so the question is whether the team that signs him is paying for his past or for what he might reasonably be expected to provide in the future.