Miguel Cabrera probably won’t do any jail time

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That’s what a Florida DUI expert who Jon Paul Morosi spoke with said. And it’s not because he’s a big baseball star: people with Cabrera’s record who did what Cabrera did — including the resisting arrest stuff — generally don’t do any jail time.  They tend to get a six-month license suspension, community service, and an obligation to attend “DUI school.”

I don’t really know anything about DUI law. I had a client call me at midnight once saying he was getting arrested for DUI. He called me after he was pulled over and before the cop even got to his window. I knew I was out of my depth and called a lawyer who knew what he was talking about to deal with him.  I also once took a taped seminar on DUI law to satisfy continuing legal education requirements, but spent most of the seminar blogging. And I wonder why I never made partner.

Anyway, it’s an interesting area of the law, and one that can vary wildly from state-to-state, as our conversation in the comments yesterday about refusing the breath test revealed.  In Ohio you get scarlet letter license plates if you get a DUI. Fun times, even if they seem to be more gimmicky than anything else.

As for Cabrera, the guy makes $20 million a year. I hope he stops drinking completely because he obviously can’t handle it, but if he doesn’t, at least hire a driver, ya know?

Bryce Harper is pandering hard to Philly fans

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Bryce Harper hadn’t even addressed his new hometown fans before his Phillies jersey started selling like hotcakes. Since then, he’s said all the expected things. Talking about joining the Phillies, he said, “From day one, it felt right … I always talk about family and being a family, being one unit, and I get that from this team. Every guy has your back and vice versa. I’m very excited to go into battle with these guys.”

Harper is continuing to pander hard to Phillies fans. Behold his latest Instagram post:

Has anyone ever really longed to see the Liberty Bell?

Harper also famously recreated that Chase Utley scene from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia with actor Rob McElhenney on Twitter:

In Harper’s next post, he will talk about alternating bottles of You-eng-ling beers with glasses of “wooder.” He’ll add that every so often he will treat himself to a steak sandwich with cheese on it, then go home to watch all of the movies in the Rocky series.