HBT Weekend Wrapup

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I threw my back out this weekend. No idea how I did it. When I sat down on Saturday morning I felt fine. When I stood up to get out of the chair none of my lower back muscles worked. These are the sorts of things that happen to you when you’re slothful and are pushing 40. Silver lining: given that standing up was quite painful and doing any actual housework or active parenting was out of the question, I sat in a comfy leather chair for two days and read two books. Well, finished a long one I had been reading and read another.

Something I already knew but which was underscored in a major, major way: Edward Hopper and James Ellroy would be the worst wingmen in history.  If you asked Hopper to talk to the friend of the girl you’re scoping out, he’d say nothing for five minutes, then say something witheringly cutting and then paint a picture of her as a figure of stark loneliness.  Ellroy would go motormouth on her about how she looked a lot like his dead mother. You know, the one whose murder he caused by invoking a curse back in 1958?  Either way, you’re not going home with the girl you were scoping out.

Anyway, this is what you may have missed if, like me, you spent the weekend reading about two fantastic artists with serious psycho-sexual issues:

Oh, and if you care: “Rooms by the Sea” and “American Tabloid” are probably my favorites, though those change quite frequently depending on mood.

Blue Jays closer Roberto Osuna could “draw a significant ban” for assault allegations

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Blue Jays closer Roberto Osuna was arrested in Toronto back on May 8 on charges of assault against a woman and he has been on MLB’s administrative leave list ever since — that leave having been extended twice already.

Canadian authorities aren’t revealing any details about the case so as to protect the identity of the accuser and it’s unclear where MLB’s investigation into the matter stands at this point, but Jon Heyman of FanRag Sports opens his latest column with this note …

Toronto Blue Jays star closer Roberto Osuna’s domestic issue is said by people familiar with the case to be serious and involve allegations of a physical nature, which would draw a significant ban.

Heyman notes that Major League Baseball handed 15-game suspensions to Jeurys Familia and Steven Wright for domestic assault cases where there was no physical abuse — or none proven — and that Aroldis Chapman got 30 games after a police report revealed that he did get physical with the victim and also fired a gun.

It sounds like Osuna could be facing a suspension of at least 20-25 games, given the precedent. Again, though, we don’t have any actual details.

Tyler Clippard has been operating as Toronto’s primary ninth-inning man in Osuna’s absence.