Bobby Valentine owns Stamford, Connecticut

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No one may want Bobby Valentine to manage their team, but someone loves him: his hometown of Stamford, Connecticut. Earlier this week he was named Stamford’s “Citizen of the Year.” Today he was named the city’s Director of Public Safety.

There was probably a need for a new Director of Public Safety, actually: the last guy couldn’t even keep mild-mannered executives from scaling downtown buildings in broad daylight.  And besides, having Valentine in charge of public safety is awesome because he also owns that sports bar in Stamford.  Which means you can probably get totally out of control there and not have to worry about the cops barging in.

At least if Bobby isn’t mad at you.