Congratulations HBT readers: you’re officially my minions

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Jeff Pearlman unleashes a new load of incoherence over at SI today, explaining that it’s totally OK to ignore the concept of innocent until proven guilty when it comes to PEDs. Why? Because finding evidence of PED use is hard, man.  At least that’s what I take from it.  And he may be right.  Indeed, I went back and checked all of Pearlman’s baseball columns from the late 90s and early 00s for his expose about PEDs in the game and I couldn’t find any mention of the juice.  Those steroid-users are a wily bunch. They’ve even taken to erasing media archives!

But maybe I’m not being objective here. I might be blinded by … evil!

As NBC Sports’ Calcaterra rightly pointed out in a recent post, “There is just as much evidence against [stars like Derek Jeter, Cal Ripken Jr., Randy Johnson, etc.] as there is against Bagwell.” Again, the problem with the flawed logic of Calcaterra (one of the leaders of the leave-these-poor-guys-alone movement) and his minions is: There is no evidence. Against anyone. Because baseball made certain of it.

At least I think that makes me evil. At any rate I don’t know of any forces for good that have minions.  Oh well, I’ll accept that. Evil is way more fun anyway.

And don’t just sit there looking at me, minions. Go do minion things. Drag a fair maiden back to my lair or something. And for god’s sake, learn to shoot straight. I won’t be done dirty like Darth Vader was. If one Stormtrooper had half-decent aim that afternoon Luke, Han and Leia escaped the Death Star, he’d still be ruling the galaxy.

And That Happened: Tuesday’s Scores and Highlights

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OK, so today it’s just the scores. I’m catching an early flight home from St. Louis — the land of unhappy Cardinals fans, based on my interaction with them late last night — and don’t have time for a full recap. But if you use your imagination I’m sure you can fill in the blanks.

Short version, though: a great night for Christian Yelich and the Brewers, who pulled to within a half game of the Cubs after dominating St. Louis. A bad night for the Cardinals, whose loss to those Brewers — combined with the Rockies’ win over the Phillies — puts them a half game outside of the playoff picture and moves Colorado into the second Wild Card slot. Also a bad night for the Dodgers whose walkoff loss to Arizona puts them only a half game ahead of Colorado in the NL West.

We only have five days left in this season, but there’s still stuff to sort out.

The scores:

Royals 4, Reds 3
Yankees 9, Rays 2
Nationals 9, Marlins 4
Astros 4, Blue Jays 1
Braves 7, Mets 3
White Sox 5, Indians 4
Brewers 12, Cardinals 4
Pirates 6, Cubs 0
Tigers 4, Twins 2
Rockies 10, Phillies 3
Diamondbacks 4, Dodgers 3
Angels 4, Rangers 1
Mariners 10, Athletics 8
Giants 5, Padres 4
Orioles vs. Red Sox — POSTPONED