Jose Canseco wants to show you his bat speed

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Jose Canseco has been more or less begging for another chance in baseball via Twitter all week, posting tweets such as “I can DH for any major league team and lead the league in home runs, just give me the chance” and “I will show everyone that steroids are completely overrated once I get the chance to play again.”

And those are the least-crazy ones.

At some point he started specifically mentioning new Mets general manager Sandy Alderson–who was the GM in Oakland back when Canseco starred for the A’s–and said he planned to send him a video to convince him a tryout was a good idea.

I will marry Mila Kunis, divorce her, marry Marisa Miller, and then cheat on her with Diora Baird before Alderson involves himself in Canseco’s life again, but that doesn’t mean we can’t look at the video anyway:

Canseco appears to be in good shape and is making solid contact against a pitching machine he claims is throwing 94 miles per hour, but here’s the thing: Even if he wasn’t “blackballed” from baseball for all the steroids stuff, a) he’s 46 years old, and b) he’s seemingly insane.

Barry Bonds couldn’t get another gig at age 43 coming off a 1.045 OPS season. Canseco is 46, last played in the majors in 2001, and was last seen hitting .170 in the independent Golden Baseball League five years ago.

Just to be safe, however, I’m going to make a video of myself for Mila, Marisa, and Diora to look at over the weekend. I may have to turn the pitching machine down to like 92 mph, though.

Dodgers look to join the Red Sox in the World Series

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One team has punched its ticket to the Fall Classic. Two teams are looking to join them, with the Dodgers carrying the distinct advantage. Los Angeles needs only a split in the final two games of the NLCS while Milwaukee needing to win both games at home. Doable? Absolutely. But to do it, the Brewers are going to have to wake up their sleepy bats.

NLCS Game 6

Dodgers vs. Brewers
Ballpark: Miller Park
Time: 8:39 PM Eastern
TV: FS1
Pitchers:  Hyun-Jin Ryu vs Wade Miley
Breakdown:

The Dodgers will give the ball to left-hander Hyun-Jin Ryu, who tossed seven shutout innings in Game 1 of the NLDS but allowed two runs and tossed 72 pitches, failing to get out of the fifth inning, in Game 2 against Milwaukee. Even if he again turns in a short outing Dave Roberts should feel pretty confident, however, as the Dodgers’ bullpen — considered a question mark coming into this series — has allowed only three runs in in 21 and two-thirds innings of work.

For Milwaukee it’s once again Wade Miley, who was the Game 5 “starter,” but who pitched to only one batter. I suppose it’s possible that Craig Counsell will burn him like that again, but it seems more likely that Miley will actually pitch in this game rather than be used as a decoy.

As I noted the other day, though, the Brewers’ pitching gamesmanship has not really been a factor in this series. The real problem for them has been their offense. They’ve scored only 16 runs in five games while batting .219. That’s actually identical to the Dodgers’ run total and average overall, but L.A. has been better at distributing that meager offense. Milwaukee has been cold at the worst times, too, going 5-for-35 with runners in scoring position in the series, including one for their last 11. If that doesn’t change, their season ends tonight.