Jose Canseco wants to show you his bat speed

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Jose Canseco has been more or less begging for another chance in baseball via Twitter all week, posting tweets such as “I can DH for any major league team and lead the league in home runs, just give me the chance” and “I will show everyone that steroids are completely overrated once I get the chance to play again.”

And those are the least-crazy ones.

At some point he started specifically mentioning new Mets general manager Sandy Alderson–who was the GM in Oakland back when Canseco starred for the A’s–and said he planned to send him a video to convince him a tryout was a good idea.

I will marry Mila Kunis, divorce her, marry Marisa Miller, and then cheat on her with Diora Baird before Alderson involves himself in Canseco’s life again, but that doesn’t mean we can’t look at the video anyway:

Canseco appears to be in good shape and is making solid contact against a pitching machine he claims is throwing 94 miles per hour, but here’s the thing: Even if he wasn’t “blackballed” from baseball for all the steroids stuff, a) he’s 46 years old, and b) he’s seemingly insane.

Barry Bonds couldn’t get another gig at age 43 coming off a 1.045 OPS season. Canseco is 46, last played in the majors in 2001, and was last seen hitting .170 in the independent Golden Baseball League five years ago.

Just to be safe, however, I’m going to make a video of myself for Mila, Marisa, and Diora to look at over the weekend. I may have to turn the pitching machine down to like 92 mph, though.

Orioles finally reach 20 wins, snap nine-game losing streak

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The Orioles won their 19th game of the season 11 days ago. The club snapped a nine-game losing streak on Sunday afternoon, taking down the Marlins 10-4 to finally cross the 20-win threshold. Aside from the Orioles, who have baseball’s worst record (20-50), the White Sox were the slowest team to reach 20 wins, securing No. 20 on June 6 — 11 days ago, for those of you keeping score.

Mark Trumbo had three hits including a solo home run, three runs scored, and two RBI. Jace Peterson knocked in four runs, including two with a two-run homer. Starter Dylan Bundy wasn’t particularly sharp, giving up four runs over six innings, but it was good enough for the W.

Coincidentally, the Orioles’ last two wins at Camden Yards came on Father’s Day (June 17) and Mother’s Day (May 13). They were on an 11-game home losing streak.

There hasn’t been any one singular cause for the Orioles’ woes. The club has dealt with a handful of injuries. First baseman Chris Davis is having a tremendously terrible season, so much so that a Baltimore-area bar is offering free shots whenever he gets a hit. Second baseman Jonathan Schoop hasn’t hit anywhere close to the way he hit last year. Free agent pick-up Alex Cobb has a 7.14 ERA over 12 starts. Andrew Cashner has a 4.98 ERA and is on the 10-day disabled list. Zach Britton has been absent most of the season due to an injury, only recently coming back.

No one expected the Orioles to hang with the Yankees and Red Sox this season, but I don’t think anyone was expecting them to reach 20 wins in the middle of June, either.