Shocker: the Royals and Jeff Francoeur are close to a deal

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I saw Dayton Moore and the Royals signing Jeff Francoeur at the paddock before the second race. I saw Dayton Moore and the Royals signing Jeff Francoeur outside the men’s room before I placed my bet.  I saw Dayton Moore and the Royals signing Jeff Francoeur before they got up this morning.

Now Ken Rosenthal reports that it’s close to going down. A one-year deal. Possible option for 2012. There are things that are more inevitable than this was, but they are only measured on a geologic time frame.

And unless it’s crazy money — which I doubt it will be — it’s not going to kill anyone. Jeff Francoeur will not be the difference between the Royals winning and not winning the AL Central in 2011, even if he gets 600 at bats (note: I don’t use plate appearances for Francoeur because including a metric that covers walks is pretty pointless with Jeffy). He’s a decent-defending body in right field, hopefully on a platoon basis, but if he’s not going to be there every day, it’s no biggie. At least not on this team.

He’ll just be there long enough, I presume, for there to be a whole new round of “Jeff Francoeur is focusing on working the count” articles this spring, as there are every spring.  He’ll be there just long enough for people to realize that that one lucky first-pitch homer he hit the first week of the season is not indicative of his talents.  He’ll be there long enough for him to depress Royals fans who want him to be their Great White Hope, and to cause Ned Yost to bench or platoon him.  He’ll be there long enough for either him or his agent to complain in the press about him being an everyday player and wanting a trade because that’s what they do every year.

And then, in July or August, he’ll get traded to the Giants.

Enjoy Kansas City, Jeffy. Lots of good food there.

Matt Vasgersian thinks bachelorette parties at ballgames are “obnoxious”

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Last night during the Cardinals-Cubs game, the ESPN camera caught sight of a group of women at the game for a bachelorette party. Play-by-play man Matt Vasgersian had some opinions about it. Here’s the exchange:

Vasgersian: Is there anything more obnoxious than the bachelorette party at the ballpark, by the way?

Jessica Mendoza: Why is it obnoxious?

Vasgersian: Congratulations, by the way, yeah, we’re all very happy for you, la la la la.”

Mendoza: Why is that obnoxious?

Vasgersian: It’s such a ‘look at me thing.’ You’re sitting behind like the bridal party — ‘Like, oh my god! We’re getting married! Ehhhhh.”

Mendoza: Woooow. Kind of harsh.

A-Rod didn’t say much other than laugh a bit and say “I love it, Matt.” Which I presume meant he loves the party being there but it could be that he loves Vasgersian’s displeasure at it. I dunno. It’s A-Rod. He’s a man of multitudes.

I’m not exactly sure why Vasgersian believes that people having a good time with their friends is “obnoxious.” Indeed, I would think that, given what he does for a living, he’d think it’s good for people to associate baseball with fun and togetherness. It’s a free country though.

I presume that, at some point, ESPN is going to make Vasgersian apologize, because ESPN doesn’t really want its baseball announcers to be in the business of calling baseball fans “obnoxious.” I further presume that Vasgersian probably won’t mean it because the sort of person who gets cranky at other people having a good time tends not to be the sort of person who does a lot of reflecting when it’s pointed out to him that he’s being a jackwagon. Such is the exercise we go through when this kind of thing happens, however, so let us all hit our marks, shall we?

In other news, I can think of a lot more obnoxious things that can happen during a ballgame than a bachelorette party. Like when play-by-play announcers ignore the action on the field for minutes at a time as they chat idly with their booth-mates about things that are not related to the ballgame.