Coco Crisp is ‘looking for a live-in personal assistant (female)’

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Someone claiming to be A’s outfielder Coco Crisp has posted an ad on Craigslist “looking for a live-in personal assistant (female) that can help simplify my life.”

Here’s the full text of the ad:

Hi,

My name is Covelli Crisp (Coco Crisp), i am a professional baseball player. Looking for a live-in personal assistant (Female) that can help simplify my life.

Appointment scheduling
Bill payment scheduling
Maintaining and updating contact lists
Dinner parties
Away home care
Provisioning and house setup
Travel planning
Dinner reservations
Personal shopping
Tickets to entertainment events
Manage invitations
Culinary ability
Light house work, etc…

Salary of $40,000/YR with room and board. please contact me at Covellicococrisp@aol.com
**Include resume and picture**

I especially like the “include resume and picture” part at the end, because everyone knows the key to a good personal assistant is what they look like. Also, it’s nice to see that someone under the age of 60 is still using an AOL e-mail address.

Red Sox place Chris Sale on 10-day injured list

Chris Sale
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Red Sox left-hander Chris Sale has been placed on the 10-day injured list with left elbow inflammation, the club revealed Saturday. The assignment is retroactive to August 14. In a corresponding roster move, right-handed reliever Ryan Brasier was recalled from Triple-A Pawtucket.

It’s an alarming development for the 30-year-old ace, who has been remarkably injury-free after dealing with a lingering case of shoulder inflammation last summer. While he hasn’t replicated the career-high results he delivered over the last two seasons, he still leads Red Sox pitchers with 3.6 fWAR and will head to the IL with a 6-11 record in 25 starts, a 4.40 ERA, 2.3 BB/9, and league-best 13.3 SO/9 through 147 1/3 innings. A timetable has not been given for his return, nor has the severity of his injury been disclosed. Per Red Sox president Dave Dombrowski, Sale has been experiencing pain in his elbow since Wednesday and will undergo further evaluation in the days to come.

Brasier, 31, was optioned to Triple-A Pawtucket in mid-July after pitching to mixed results in the majors. He currently holds a 4.46 ERA, 2.7 BB/9, and 8.0 SO/9 with the Red Sox, though his results in Triple-A — one run, one walk, and 13 strikeouts over 9 1/3 innings — suggest that he might be capable of even sharper results when he rejoins the big league club.