The Best and Worst Uniforms of All Time: The Boston Red Sox

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The Best:  The Red Sox are always included in lists of franchises with proud and grand traditions, but even if they are a classic organization, they have mixed it up a little bit over the years.  Red hats, for one thing. Changing the lettering on the road unis from blue to red. All in all, I prefer the unadulterated classic, with the navy cap and the blue “Boston” on the roadies. Which, to their credit, they’ve maintained most of the time over the past 75 years.

The Worst: The Red Sox’ flirtation with doubleknit pullovers — while briefer than most teams’ — looked particularly bad for the same reason the Cardinals’ did: trying to update a classic. I know some of you feel differently about that, but that’s just because you’re in your 40s and you grew up watching those 70s Sox teams.  Sorry, it looked bad.  Beyond that, it’s possible to get a bit too literal with a team nickname. Still, the worst Red Sox uniform earns the title less due to aesthetic considerations than symbolic ones. In a word: pinstripes. Could you imagine that today? If the Sox announced a switch to pinstripes the city would be burning by sundown.

Assessment: When I did this a couple of years ago, the only suggestion I had was that they switch back to the blue “Boston” on the road uniforms. Which they have since done.  Behold the power of basement bloggers.

Ichiro wore a fake mustache to sneak into the Mariners’ dugout

Associated Press
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Ichiro Suzuki is now a Mariners employee and, as such, he’s not allowed to sit in the dugout during a game. That’s for coaches and players only.

He knows that, too. Indeed, on the day Ichiro announced his sorta-retirement, he talked about how it was going to be hard not to be down on the field with the other players. He even made a ridiculous joke about how, “[he] can’t say for certain that maybe [he] won’t put on a beard and glasses and be like Bobby Valentine and be in the dugout.”

In related news, this mysterious stranger was seen by an Associated Press photographer in the Mariners dugout during the first couple of innings of the M’s-Yankees game:

(AP Photo/Bill Kostroun)

No beard, but I guess that joke was not very ridiculous after all. Either way, by the end of the second inning — poof — he was gone.

Obviously, when something interesting like this happens you mustache an expert for their opinion on the matter. To that end, the Associated Press reached Bobby Valentine, who famously did the same thing after an ejection way back in 1999, for comment:

“He was perfect. I never would have known it was him.”

Valentine was suspended for two games and fined $5,000. I’m assuming Ichiro won’t get hit quite as hard given that he wasn’t defying an umpire’s authority, but even if he does have to pay a fine, he’ll likely do so willingly.