The Best and Worst Uniforms of All Time: The Arizona Diamondbacks

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Best: Minor variations aside, the Diamondbacks have only really had two uniforms. The current one and the old one.  The current one is not what I’d consider the Platonic ideal of baseball style, but as you’ll see in a second, I believe it to be the superior look.

Worst: Incorporating teal, purple, black, pinstripes and vests, the original Diamondbacks’ outfits were the perfect storm of marketing douchebaggery. I said something about the Pirates and A’s yesterday, but what the Dbacks wore between 1998 and 2006 are almost certainly the worst thing every worn by a Major League team. Horrifyingly bad with no redeeming factors whatsoever, save maybe the fact that, once every five days, you got to see Randy Johnson in his prime pitching in them. Otherwise I almost want to vomit they’re so terrible.

Assessment: The Diamondbacks should hire all of the hard-copy photo doctoring experts who managed to survive the Stalin regime and get them to subtly alter all pictures of the 2001 championship season so that no historical evidence exists of that awful, awful look.  Once that’s done, maybe they can improve upon what they’re currently wearing. I like the little rattlesnake D and the color scheme, but perhaps they can unblock and unbunch the letters a bit.