I should have realized this earlier, but I have finally figured it out: the Rays starting Shields in Game 2 over Game 3 has nothing to do with Rays ownership wanting to favor a Jewish pitcher* with an earlier, at-home start. It was simply an act of religious tolerance.
Why? Because Game 3 is on Saturday. And Saturday, Dude, is Shabbos, the Jewish day of rest. That means that James Shields
doesn’t work, he doesn’t drive a car, he doesn’t f—— ride in a car, he doesn’t
handle money, he doesn’t turn on the oven, and he sure as s— doesn’t f—— pitch!
But if Joe Maddon wants a toe, Shields can get him a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don’t wanna know about it, believe me. Hell, Shields can get you a toe by 3 o’clock this afternoon… with nail polish.
*Probably worth noting that I can’t find anything in the Internet suggesting that Shields actually is, you know, Jewish. But I kind of hope he is if, for no other reason, than I like to picture him ranting like Walter Sobchak.
Blue Jays closer Roberto Osuna has been suspended for 75 games without pay after violating the league’s Joint Domestic Violence, Sexual Assault and Child Abuse Policy, Major League Baseball announced Friday. The suspension is retroactive to May 8 and will lift on August 4. Osuna has decided not to appeal the decision.
Osuna was charged with one count of assault against his girlfriend following his arrest on May 8. Per FanRag Sports’ Jon Heyman, the reliever is set to undergo trial on July 9. No details regarding his specific actions in the case have been publicly released, but Heyman adds that MLB was reportedly able to interview the victim prior to issuing the suspension. League Commissioner Rob Manfred issued the following statement:
My office has completed its investigation into the allegation that Roberto Osuna violated Major League Baseball’s Joint Domestic Violence, Sexual Assault and Child Abuse Policy on May 8, 2018. Having reviewed all of the available evidence, I have concluded that Mr. Osuna violated the Policy and should be subject to discipline in the form of an unpaid suspension that will expire on August 4th.
Osuna, 23, pitched just 15 1/3 innings during the 2018 season prior to his arrest. He has been on administrative leave since May 8.