I don’t much trust young people — they frighten and confuse me — but those few to whom I’ve dared speak have mentioned that this “the Hold Steady” ensemble plays some catchy ditties. As I have been unable to find their cassette at my local MusicLand store, I have been unable to verify such claims one way or another.
But I have now heard a song their lead singer wrote and performs — “Don’t Call Them Twinkies” — which is being touted as a Minnesota Twins playoff anthem. I guess it’s OK. It’s no “Who Stole the Keeshka,” which the Tigers employed like a secret weapon in 1968, but you can judge for yourself here. It’s all so much noise to me. Plus the lyric about Ron Gant is simply false.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to turn on the radio so that I might be able to record a song I’ve been trying to get for the mix tape I’m making for a certain young lady. I’ve gotten really good at hitting “play/record” at the exact moment the disc jockey stops talking, so my mix tapes are pretty smooth.
Yankees second baseman Gleyber Torres was born on December 13, 1996. That year, Bartolo Colon (who turns 45 years old on Thursday) was wrapping up a season he spent with Double-A Canton-Akron and Triple-A Buffalo. He would debut in the majors the following April.
In a clash of generations, the 21-year-old Torres and Colon squared off on Monday as the Yankees visited the Rangers. Torres won the battle twice, drilling a two-run home run off of Colon in the second inning and a solo shot off of Colon in the fourth. Colon wound up giving up six runs in total on eight hits (including four homers) and a walk with four strikeouts in 5 1/3 innings.
Here is video of the first homer Torres hit:
Torres is the second-youngest Yankee in club history with a multi-homer game. Mickey Mantle was 20 years and 296 days old when he went yard twice on August 11, 1952. Torres is 21 years, 159 days old. Joe DiMaggio was 21-212 when he hit two on June 24, 1936.
So much for respecting one’s elders. We’re currently seeing a youth movement in baseball. 19-year-old Juan Soto hit his first major league homer on Monday against the Padres. 20-year-olds Ronald Acuña and Mike Soroka debuted for the Braves earlier this year. Could 19-year-old Blue Jays prospect Vladimir Guerrero, Jr. join them soon?