Johan Santana's surgery "a success"

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The Mets have announced that Johan Santana had his shoulder surgery this morning and that “it was a success.”  Which is good to hear.

But of course we hear that all the time. I don’t wish ill on any specific player, but just once, on general principles, I would like to hear a team announce that a player’s surgery was “a total disaster.”

“Oh god, it was awful,” a team spokesman said. “They got in there and it was like spaghetti. The doctor tried — dear sweet lord, did he try! — but the surgery went sideways from the first slice and got worse from there. A nurse cried. I saw her crying.  Thank god we got the guy to sign a waiver before he went under. Will someone get me a drink?”