Oliver Perez wants to stay with the Mets. Of course he does!

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This might be my favorite story of the day, mostly because it makes me incredibly sad. Oliver Perez told Adam Rubin of ESPN.com that he would like to be back with the Mets next season.

“I want to be back here. I want to have a
championship because I know the fans want it and I want it, too.”

Of course he wants to stay. You see, if the Mets had the marbles to cut him loose and some team took him on at the major league minimum, Perez might actually be forced to do something. Like go to the minor leagues and learn how to pitch.

By the way, Perez hasn’t appeared in a game since August 1. Don’t worry about it, though. That’s only because he’s the team’s emergency situational left-hander on the road in the event of a leap year. It’s a luxury only a few teams can afford.