Oliver Perez wants to stay with the Mets. Of course he does!

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This might be my favorite story of the day, mostly because it makes me incredibly sad. Oliver Perez told Adam Rubin of ESPN.com that he would like to be back with the Mets next season.

“I want to be back here. I want to have a
championship because I know the fans want it and I want it, too.”

Of course he wants to stay. You see, if the Mets had the marbles to cut him loose and some team took him on at the major league minimum, Perez might actually be forced to do something. Like go to the minor leagues and learn how to pitch.

By the way, Perez hasn’t appeared in a game since August 1. Don’t worry about it, though. That’s only because he’s the team’s emergency situational left-hander on the road in the event of a leap year. It’s a luxury only a few teams can afford.

Clayton Kershaw might return to the Dodgers’ rotation next week

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Dodgers southpaw Clayton Kershaw is nearing his return to the mound, according to club manager Dave Roberts. Both Kershaw (left biceps tendinitis) and fellow lefty Rich Hill (left middle finger blister) are scheduled to toss simulated games on Saturday; depending on the outcome, Roberts says Kershaw could forgo a minor league assignment and slot back into the rotation by Thursday.

Kershaw, 30, was diagnosed with biceps tendinitis as the team closed out their Mexico Series at the start of the month. He has not made a start in several weeks, but was finally able to resume throwing on Sunday and managed to get through two successful bullpen sessions. Though Dodgers’ ace hasn’t been completely injury-free over his 11-year career in the majors, this is the first significant issue he’s had with his pitching arm so far. The team is expected to take every precaution with the lefty, and will likely limit him to just four innings during Saturday’s simulated game.

Prior to his injury, Kershaw was working on another dominant run with the club, sporting a 2.86 ERA, 2.0 BB/9 and 9.8 SO/9 through his first 44 innings of the season. While Kershaw, Hill and left-handed starter Hyun-Jin Ryu served their respective terms on the disabled list this month, the Dodgers utilized a combination of relievers Ross Stripling and Brock Stewart, both of whom impressed during their limited time in the rotation.