Charlie Manuel suspended for bumpin' an ump

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Phillies’ skipper Charlie Manuel argued balls and strikes with world’s worst umpire C.B. Bucknor on Tuesday night, his hat apparently brushed Bucknor’s head and now Manuel has been suspended for one game for “aggressive
arguing and inappropriate contact.”

Whatever. C.B. Bucknor couldn’t call a strike on the strikingest day of his life with an electrified strike machine, so he deserved Manuel getting all up in his business. The only thing I can’t figure out is how Bucknor even saw Cholly’s cap hit his head.

For his part, Manuel has issued a statement about the incident:*

Boy howdy, I’m not one to get sore, but when this wise guy tried to give me the high hat I was seein’ red.  So’s I start in, see, and he comes back with his “ya betta watchyaself, Cholly” rebob, and that’s when I flipped my lid. The last person who told me to watch myself was my ‘ma, and last I peeped, this eephus wasn’t sweet and wonderful like she was, so I called applesauce on the palooka’s jive, ya follow?

Lord love a duck, but if givin’ C.B. Bucknor the business is wrong I don’t wanna be right.  As for the suspension, I’ll dangle for a game in Pittsburgh just swell. Yinzers is my kind of people anyways. Give me some free time there any day of the week and twice on Sunday, and I can do things up just jake, see?

That’s all I got boys, the train’s leaving.

*This statement was relayed psychically, only to me, via the little voice in Charlie Manuel’s head that says the things I like to imagine him saying.

Video: J.D. Martinez hits league-tying 23rd home run

Seattle Mariners v Boston Red Sox
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The Red Sox and Mariners left nothing on the table Friday night, going head-to-head in a series opener that eventually ended 14-10 in the Sox’ favor. Led by Steven Wright and Wade LeBlanc — neither of whom made it past the fifth inning — the teams combined for 34 hits and four home runs, including two moonshots from Seattle’s Nelson Cruz and a five-run rally that gave Boston the edge in the seventh.

In the sixth inning, however, the Red Sox were still scrambling to make up a four-run deficit. Left fielder J.D. Martinez cut it in half with one swing, pouncing on an 89.5-mph fastball from Seattle right-hander Nick Vincent and posting it to dead center field for a two-run shot.

The 427-foot blast was Martinez’s 23rd of the season, tying Mike Trout for the most home runs in the league this year. While he still has a ways to go before eclipsing the career-best 45-HR mark he set in 2017, he’s off to a strong start this season: Entering Friday’s game, the 30-year-old slugger was batting .315/.386/.623 with a 1.009 OPS and AL-leading 55 RBI in 308 PA. He finished Friday’s game 4-for-5 with five RBI, just one triple shy of hitting for the cycle.

Heading into the All-Star Break, both Martinez and Trout still have some competition for the home run title. Jose Ramirez is sitting at 22 homers, while Nelson Cruz and Khris Davis are tied at 20 apiece.