My managerial ejection conspiracy theory

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Charlie Manuel was ejected early in today’s Phillies-Indians game. Game time temperature in Philly was 94 degrees and it’s probably getting hotter. The manager’s office is air conditioned, there’s HD TV, and if Cholly is as awesome as I like to imagine he is, there’s probably a six pack of Ballantine or Hamm’s or some other brand of defunct beer that only he can get because he knows a guy who knows a guy.

What’ I’m saying is, I think the fix is in and Charlie wanted a breather from the hot day.  I have no evidence for this. I’m just speculatin’ on a hypothesis. Worth noting though, that the Phillies were already up 4-0 at the time against a weak team. In short, it’s not a day that requires Manuel’s managerial expertise.

I’ve always thought that Bobby Cox does this, by the way. Indeed, there was a stretch there — especially between 2006 and 2009 when the Braves weren’t playing so hot — where if it was a day game above 85 degrees, you could almost guarantee that Cox was going to get run for arguing balls and strikes. And he wouldn’t put up much of a fight, either. He’d go straight to the magic words, sometimes barely leaving the dugout before he was ejected. I think he was jonesin’ for the AC as well.

And I’m not being critical here. I love it!  Probably because I’m a giant wuss when it comes to heat and I’m totally projecting on two of my favorite managers in the game. I wish I could do what they do, and I’d like to pretend that they’d do what I’d do, even if doing so is pretty selfish and irresponsible. It’s probably also worth mentioning that when I woke up this morning my air conditioner wasn’t working and, as I type this, a repairman is working on it while the temperature in my house climbs above 80.

So, yeah, double the envy of the beer sipppin, feet-on-the-desk Charlie Manuel, who (in my mind at least) is thinking that today’s adversary Manny Acta is an A-1 sucker for not gettin’ wise to his plan, see?

The Red Sox AL East championship banner fell off a truck and is being held hostage

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The Red Sox haven’t won the AL East just yet. They will. For them not to, they’ll have to lose the rest of their games while the Yankees win the rest of theirs. It’s just a matter of time.

Knowing this, the club can plan some things in advance. The can begin postseason ticket sales, for example. They can decide what sort of festivities they will undertake for the first game of the ALDS that is guaranteed to begin at Fenway Park. They also, of course, can raise a banner for the division championship.

There’s only one problem with that: the banner, already printed up, fell off the dang truck that was delivering it and is being held hostage by a guy named Louie Iacuzzi from Malden. From the Boston Globe:

Iacuzzi said Wednesday by phone that he and his buddies spotted an object wrapped up on McGrath Highway in Somerville Monday morning. So he pulled over and crossed multiple lanes of busy traffic to retrieve it. Inside was a massive banner that read “ ‘2018 American League East Champions’; it’s the banner,” Iacuzzi said.

One can presume that Iacuzzi is a big Sox fan so he’s willing to do the right thing without hesitation, right? Well . . . kinda:

“We want to return it, we’re trying to do the right thing, but I’m not just going to hand it to them, know what I mean?” Iacuzzi said.

Asked if he wanted cash from the Red Sox, he said, “Yes, financial [compensation], maybe some tickets, we want something. We don’t know what we want. We want to return it, 100 percent, but we would like to get something.”

Iacuzzi didn’t have a specific asking price in mind as of Wednesday morning.

“We want to find out what the thing’s worth,” he said. “We don’t know.”

You have to click through to the Globe story to check out Iacuzzi and his friends. You also have to hear what his dad told him to do with the banner. Frankly, his dad sounds like my dad, and I’m not entirely sure that’s a compliment to anyone involved.

What’ll the Red Sox clinch first? The AL East or the return of their property? And will the movie version of this be more like “The Town,” “Celtic Pride” or “The Friends of Eddie Coyle?”

UPDATE: Oh man, there’s video: