Mike Stanton has a solid debut for the Marlins

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Mike Stanton swings.jpgStephen Strasburg wasn’t the only franchise savior who debuted last night. Mike Stanton was called up by the Marlins and had himself a solid debut: 3 for 5 with two runs scored. All of the hits were singles, but given that Stanton’s M.O. is to swing for the fences and strikeout whenever he doesn’t mash it, the Marlins will take the contact, no problem.

Best thing about his debut: he had to spend the hours before the game trying to find a suit because the Marlins have a farkakte team rule requiring every player to wear business clothes on road trips. OK, maybe it’s not farkakte –I get the whole look professional, feel professional thing — but (a) “professional” for a baseball player involves athletic gear, not dress socks; and (b) I’d rather my young stud spend his pre-game hours reading scouting reports, not hanging out at a Men’s Warehouse. Maybe I’m just projecting, though. I’m not a fan of suits.

Either way, I would have liked to see the look on the face of the dude at Men’s Warehouse when asked if he had something on the rack that could fit a dude who is 6’5″ and weighs 233 pounds.

Ichiro wore a fake mustache to sneak into the Mariners’ dugout

Associated Press
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Ichiro Suzuki is now a Mariners employee and, as such, he’s not allowed to sit in the dugout during a game. That’s for coaches and players only.

He knows that, too. Indeed, on the day Ichiro announced his sorta-retirement, he talked about how it was going to be hard not to be down on the field with the other players. He even made a ridiculous joke about how, “[he] can’t say for certain that maybe [he] won’t put on a beard and glasses and be like Bobby Valentine and be in the dugout.”

In related news, this mysterious stranger was seen by an Associated Press photographer in the Mariners dugout during the first couple of innings of the M’s-Yankees game:

(AP Photo/Bill Kostroun)

No beard, but I guess that joke was not very ridiculous after all. Either way, by the end of the second inning — poof — he was gone.

Obviously, when something interesting like this happens you mustache an expert for their opinion on the matter. To that end, the Associated Press reached Bobby Valentine, who famously did the same thing after an ejection way back in 1999, for comment:

“He was perfect. I never would have known it was him.”

Valentine was suspended for two games and fined $5,000. I’m assuming Ichiro won’t get hit quite as hard given that he wasn’t defying an umpire’s authority, but even if he does have to pay a fine, he’ll likely do so willingly.