It can't get any lower than this: The Dodgers are shut out by the Pirates

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Matt Kemp olay.jpgI basically retweeted Ned Colletti’s comments back at Matt Kemp in the recaps this morning because I thought it’d be funny, but let’s be clear about something: Kemp’s misplay on that two-run triple was not the death blow in the Dodgers’ loss to the Pirates. It was the fact that the Dodgers were blanked by the worst pitching staff in all of baseball.

Four hits. Four hits is all Big Blue could muster against a team that has been giving up runs by the bucketful. And don’t tell me that it was just a fluke or that it was due to unusual weather conditions in L.A. yesterday (the wind chill factor was in the 40s). Why? Because the Dodgers have been shut out in three of their last five games. So what gives?

Garret Anderson, for one thing. The fact that he’s on any major league roster is something of a surprise, but thanks to Manny Ramirez’s injury he’s been getting way more at bats than he has any business getting. In the two-hole last night he went 0 for 4. In part-time play over the past two weeks he’s 1 for 25. James Loney has disappeared lately as well, going 0 for his last 18. Overall the Dodgers are six for 49 with runners in scoring position. All singles. There’s just no boom in their boomsticks, and the Dodgers look simply listless.

Matt Kemp is likely to get his share of media jeers today, but make no mistake: he’s not alone in deserving them.

The Red Sox AL East championship banner fell off a truck and is being held hostage

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The Red Sox haven’t won the AL East just yet. They will. For them not to, they’ll have to lose the rest of their games while the Yankees win the rest of theirs. It’s just a matter of time.

Knowing this, the club can plan some things in advance. The can begin postseason ticket sales, for example. They can decide what sort of festivities they will undertake for the first game of the ALDS that is guaranteed to begin at Fenway Park. They also, of course, can raise a banner for the division championship.

There’s only one problem with that: the banner, already printed up, fell off the dang truck that was delivering it and is being held hostage by a guy named Louie Iacuzzi from Malden. From the Boston Globe:

Iacuzzi said Wednesday by phone that he and his buddies spotted an object wrapped up on McGrath Highway in Somerville Monday morning. So he pulled over and crossed multiple lanes of busy traffic to retrieve it. Inside was a massive banner that read “ ‘2018 American League East Champions’; it’s the banner,” Iacuzzi said.

One can presume that Iacuzzi is a big Sox fan so he’s willing to do the right thing without hesitation, right? Well . . . kinda:

“We want to return it, we’re trying to do the right thing, but I’m not just going to hand it to them, know what I mean?” Iacuzzi said.

Asked if he wanted cash from the Red Sox, he said, “Yes, financial [compensation], maybe some tickets, we want something. We don’t know what we want. We want to return it, 100 percent, but we would like to get something.”

Iacuzzi didn’t have a specific asking price in mind as of Wednesday morning.

“We want to find out what the thing’s worth,” he said. “We don’t know.”

You have to click through to the Globe story to check out Iacuzzi and his friends. You also have to hear what his dad told him to do with the banner. Frankly, his dad sounds like my dad, and I’m not entirely sure that’s a compliment to anyone involved.

What’ll the Red Sox clinch first? The AL East or the return of their property? And will the movie version of this be more like “The Town,” “Celtic Pride” or “The Friends of Eddie Coyle?”

UPDATE: Oh man, there’s video: