Scott Boras is comically confident about Damon's prospects

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boras.jpgScott Boras has been taking a beating over the fate of Johnny Damon this offseason, but he’s not deterred.  In fact today he has offered a couple of Black-Knight-in-Monty-Python-and-the-Holy-Grail-style “have at yous!” First in the Detroit Free Press:

Although Damon, 36, has been a free agent since November, Boras said
the market for him really didn’t develop until it became clear the
Yankees wouldn’t re-sign him. Then, said Boras, “We got four or five
offers right away.” Boras declined to identify which clubs made offers or how much interest they have subsequently shown.

Dude. Your arm’s off.

In other news, Boras was just on XM’s Home Plate show. I don’t have the transcript or anything, but Jason at IIATMS relayed some of it on TwitterHe basically
put Damon’s current unemployment on owners who simply aren’t willing to
do what’s necessary for their team to win.  He also
said “Johnny Damon has many opportunities to play” and that he’s “not worried about where.”

Look, you fight with the strength of many men, Sir Knight, but you are beaten. Stand aside, worthy adversary, and take one of those “four or five” offers you have and stop this silly PR onslaught.

Ichiro wore a fake mustache to sneak into the Mariners’ dugout

Associated Press
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Ichiro Suzuki is now a Mariners employee and, as such, he’s not allowed to sit in the dugout during a game. That’s for coaches and players only.

He knows that, too. Indeed, on the day Ichiro announced his sorta-retirement, he talked about how it was going to be hard not to be down on the field with the other players. He even made a ridiculous joke about how, “[he] can’t say for certain that maybe [he] won’t put on a beard and glasses and be like Bobby Valentine and be in the dugout.”

In related news, this mysterious stranger was seen by an Associated Press photographer in the Mariners dugout during the first couple of innings of the M’s-Yankees game:

(AP Photo/Bill Kostroun)

No beard, but I guess that joke was not very ridiculous after all. Either way, by the end of the second inning — poof — he was gone.

Obviously, when something interesting like this happens you mustache an expert for their opinion on the matter. To that end, the Associated Press reached Bobby Valentine, who famously did the same thing after an ejection way back in 1999, for comment:

“He was perfect. I never would have known it was him.”

Valentine was suspended for two games and fined $5,000. I’m assuming Ichiro won’t get hit quite as hard given that he wasn’t defying an umpire’s authority, but even if he does have to pay a fine, he’ll likely do so willingly.