Lenny Dykstra is back, with some more can't-miss investment advice

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There was a brief moment a couple years ago when a not-insignificant number of people believed that Lenny Dykstra was a financial genius capable of picking winning stocks like some sort of baseball Rainman.
Real Sports on HBO did a relatively fawning profile piece focused on Dykstra’s lavish lifestyle, Jim Cramer famously called him a “legend” in the investment world, and his various businesses thrived.
Eventually he declared bankruptcy, lost his $17.5 million home, was sued approximately a gazillion times, and auctioned off his World Series ring. And now Dykstra has a new website called “Nails Investments” where he offers stock picks and one-on-one advice for a monthly fee.
All of which got me thinking about where “Lenny Dykstra on investing” ranks on the list of “people giving advice about things.” For instance, near the top of the list would probably be stuff like “Albert Pujols on hitting a baseball” or “Derek Jeter on attracting women.” Near the bottom of the list would be things like “Aaron Gleeman on dieting” or “Craig Calcaterra on hair styles.”
My challenge to you, the Circling the Bases/Hardball Talk reader, is to come up with some things that would actually rank below “Lenny Dykstra on investing.” Winner gets exactly zero dollars, which is more than you’d probably make listening to his advice. Have at it …