New Year's resolutions for all 30 teams

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I’m kinda mad I didn’t think of this bit myself, but FanHouse’s Matt Snyder does a pretty good job of it, so I’ll get over it:

Once the clock strikes midnight and the calendar turns to a new year,
millions of people decide they are going to change something about
themselves that they could just change on their own any other day of
the year. It’s a good excuse to make it seem like you are improving
yourself. Why should the 30 major league baseball teams be any
different? We can have some fun with this. Here’s my quick resolution
for each of them . . .

I can get on board with most of them. Well, maybe not the one where the Cardinals resolve to get Albert Pujols liquored up and trick him into signing a lifetime extension. I think the Cardinals have had enough trouble with alcohol over the years to where maybe hypnotism or subliminal messages would be better.

And the one in which the Mariners resolve to teach Milton Bradley accountability is a bit of a reach as well. They’re just going to cut the dude if he acts up, so why waste the time?

Finally, the Twins’ resolution to teach Joe Mauer third base should probably be chucked right now. It didn’t work for Johnny Bench, why would it work for Mauer? Sign him to a long term deal. Catch him until his knees give out. Move him to DH. Enjoy a nice sunny day in Cooperstown with him in about 20 years.

But happy new year anyway.

Dodgers plan to tab Clayton Kershaw for Game 1 of World Series

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MLB.com’s Ken Gurnick reports that the Dodgers plan to tab ace Clayton Kershaw for Game 1 of the World Series. Nothing is set in stone yet ahead of Tuesday’s Game 1 of the World Series. In the event Kershaw can’t start Game 1, Rich Hill would start. Otherwise, Hill would start Game 4.

Kershaw, started Game 1 and Game 5 of the NLCS against the Brewers, then closed out Game 7 with a flawless inning. He was hit around to the tune of five runs (four earned) over three-plus innings in Game 1, but rebounded for seven innings of one-run ball in Game 5. He struck out two en route to sending the Dodgers to the World Series in the ninth inning of Game 7.

Kershaw also tossed eight shutout innings against the Braves in Game 2 of the NLDS. Overall, he has a 2.37 ERA in 19 innings this postseason. There was no doubt who would be the Dodgers’ first choice to start Game 1, but it’s a relatively recent situation where the ace of a team also closed out the final game of the previous series.

Hill has put up a 2.61 ERA in 10 1/3 innings this postseason. While he doesn’t have Kershaw’s pedigree, the Dodgers would be confident having him lead off the series. Hill was excellent down the stretch last year, helping the Dodgers reach Game 7 of the World Series against the Astros.

The Red Sox plan to start Chris Sale in Game 1 now that he’s recovered from a brief stint in the hospital due to a stomach ailment. The lefty has a 3.48 in 10 1/3 innings in the playoffs this year. He’s among a handful of candidates for the AL Cy Young award after posting a 2.11 ERA in the regular season, but his lack of innings (158) may hurt him.