The champagne goggles are very lame, but very necessary

Leave a comment

Anyone else feel that the post-clinch champagne celebrations feel scripted and rote by now?  Like it’s something that players feel obligated to do as opposed to something done spontaneously? Are you telling me that a guy like Nick Swisher couldn’t, if baseball’s social conventions allowed it, find a more interesting way to celebrate than by pouring bubbly on his friends’ heads?  I’m guessing he could break 50 laws of God and Man within an hour of the the game ending if given the chance.  I haven’t seen something truly spontaneous happen after a World Series since Wade Boggs got up on that horse.

But alas, we get champagne. It’s too much of a tradition now, much like the rather awkward and scripted jumping up and down in the middle of the field after the final out (note: did anyone else notice that some guys — like Posada — started doing little awkward hops before the dogpile because, well, they sort of felt they had to? Gave me a chuckle). There’s nothing that can be done about it at this point.

The best we can hope for, I suppose, is that players at least act like its spontaneous and not cover the room with plastic and put on goggles or something.  Wait, what? We can’t expect that either?

Talk to an eye doctor, though, and you’ll be converted to the pro-goggle side with the speed of one of Sabathia’s fastballs.

Champagne
has a high alcohol content, high enough to damage the surface lining of
the cornea, says Dr. Matthew Gardiner, director of emergency
ophthalmology services at the Massachusetts Eye and Ear Infirmary. (For
those medically inclined, the lining is called the epithelium.)

“A
corneal abrasion like that usually heals within two to three days, but
it can be extremely painful while it’s healing,” says Gardiner.

Fine. We’ll let you have your little champagne celebration.  And we’ll certainly let you have your goggles too.

Now about all of that hopping . . . 

Jayson Werth was arrested for a DUI while trying to win a job with the Mariners

Getty Images
Leave a comment

Jayson Werth went unsigned as a free agent last winter, and then signed a minor league deal with the Mariners early in the spring. He worked out at their facility in Peoria, Arizona before joining the Triple-A Tacoma Rainiers but never got a callup to the big club. Seeing no path back to the bigs, he called it a career, retiring in late June.

Part of that was due to a hamstring injury he received while playing in Tacoma. Today the Washington Post reports that there was one more little wrinkle in all of that as well. A DUI:

Former Nationals outfielder Jayson Werth pled guilty last week to driving under the influence in the Scottsdale area. The arrest occurred in April, when Werth was playing at the Mariners’ spring training facility in nearby Peoria. The court sentenced Werth to a diversion program, ordered drug and alcohol screening, charged him more than $1,600 in fines and fees, and suspended his driver’s license.

Werth declined comment and the specifics of the arrest aren’t reported in the article. The Mariners said his DUI was not a factor in not calling him up to Seattle.

This is not Werth’s first run-in with the law. Back in 2015 he served five days in jail due to a reckless driving charge in suburban Virginia.