Anyone else feel that the post-clinch champagne celebrations feel scripted and rote by now? Like it’s something that players feel obligated to do as opposed to something done spontaneously? Are you telling me that a guy like Nick Swisher couldn’t, if baseball’s social conventions allowed it, find a more interesting way to celebrate than by pouring bubbly on his friends’ heads? I’m guessing he could break 50 laws of God and Man within an hour of the the game ending if given the chance. I haven’t seen something truly spontaneous happen after a World Series since Wade Boggs got up on that horse.
But alas, we get champagne. It’s too much of a tradition now, much like the rather awkward and scripted jumping up and down in the middle of the field after the final out (note: did anyone else notice that some guys — like Posada — started doing little awkward hops before the dogpile because, well, they sort of felt they had to? Gave me a chuckle). There’s nothing that can be done about it at this point.
The best we can hope for, I suppose, is that players at least act like its spontaneous and not cover the room with plastic and put on goggles or something. Wait, what? We can’t expect that either?
Talk to an eye doctor, though, and you’ll be converted to the pro-goggle side with the speed of one of Sabathia’s fastballs.
Champagne
has a high alcohol content, high enough to damage the surface lining of
the cornea, says Dr. Matthew Gardiner, director of emergency
ophthalmology services at the Massachusetts Eye and Ear Infirmary. (For
those medically inclined, the lining is called the epithelium.)“A
corneal abrasion like that usually heals within two to three days, but
it can be extremely painful while it’s healing,” says Gardiner.
Fine. We’ll let you have your little champagne celebration. And we’ll certainly let you have your goggles too.
Now about all of that hopping . . .
