Biggest postseason shocker: Waterfall swimmer not drunk, just stupid

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David Brown of Yahoo! Sports put together all the amusing screen captures of the doofus Angels fan who went swimming in the outfield waterfall last night.
Security took their sweet time chasing after him, so the guy was basically able to go through an entire routine of jumps and dives, finishing each move with that same hands-in-the-air pose Olympic gymnasts have when they successfully land on the mat.
You’d assume that someone willing to go swimming in a waterfall built on rocks in the outfield of a ballpark would have been motivated by the copious amounts of booze running through them, but amazingly police said afterward that 29-year-old Jose Cervera wasn’t even drunk.
Of course, isn’t it actually worse if you’re acting like that and you’re not even drunk? If he wasn’t drunk then he’s just an idiot. But then again I guess we knew that already. Anyway, Cervera initially seemed like bad luck when the Angels coughed up a 4-0 lead soon after his performance, but then they stormed back to win 7-6.
Sure, he was probably in a holding cell by the time Brian Fuentes wriggled out of the ninth-inning jam, but there’s no need to get technical about good-luck charms. I’m really hoping this guy becomes the new Rally Monkey.

Blue Jays clinch playoff berth with Orioles’ loss to Red Sox

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TORONTO — The Blue Jays clinched a postseason berth Thursday without taking the field.

Toronto was assured of an AL wild card berth when the Boston Red Sox beat the Baltimore Orioles 5-3.

If Toronto holds its current position as the first of the AL’s three wild cards, the Blue Jays would open a best-of-three wild-card series at Rogers Centre next week.

“These guys are excited to be in this position,” Blue Jays manager John Schneider said after Wednesday’s 8-3 loss to the New York Yankees. “You’ve got three really good pitchers lined up against a good Boston team, playing at home. So I think it’s more excitement more than it’s nerves or anything. I think the guys are going to come out and be ready to roll on Friday night.”

Toronto became the fourth AL team to clinch a playoff berth, joining division champions Houston, the Yankees and Cleveland. The Astros and Yankees have first-round byes.

The Blue Jays last went to the playoffs in 2020, when they were knocked out with two straight losses to Tampa Bay.

Eight of the 12 berths in the expanded postseason have been clinched: The Los Angeles Dodgers and St. Louis earned division titles, and Atlanta and the New York Mets are assured no worse the wild cards while still competing to win the NL East. The Dodgers have a first-round bye.