Biggest postseason shocker: Waterfall swimmer not drunk, just stupid

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David Brown of Yahoo! Sports put together all the amusing screen captures of the doofus Angels fan who went swimming in the outfield waterfall last night.
Security took their sweet time chasing after him, so the guy was basically able to go through an entire routine of jumps and dives, finishing each move with that same hands-in-the-air pose Olympic gymnasts have when they successfully land on the mat.
You’d assume that someone willing to go swimming in a waterfall built on rocks in the outfield of a ballpark would have been motivated by the copious amounts of booze running through them, but amazingly police said afterward that 29-year-old Jose Cervera wasn’t even drunk.
Of course, isn’t it actually worse if you’re acting like that and you’re not even drunk? If he wasn’t drunk then he’s just an idiot. But then again I guess we knew that already. Anyway, Cervera initially seemed like bad luck when the Angels coughed up a 4-0 lead soon after his performance, but then they stormed back to win 7-6.
Sure, he was probably in a holding cell by the time Brian Fuentes wriggled out of the ninth-inning jam, but there’s no need to get technical about good-luck charms. I’m really hoping this guy becomes the new Rally Monkey.

Lenny Dykstra arrested for allegedly threatening Uber driver

AP Photo/Nick Ut
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Former Mets and Phillies star outfielder Lenny Dykstra has been arrested for allegedly threatening an Uber driver early Wednesday morning, Mike Deak and Suzanne Russell of the Courier News report. The official charges include third-degree making terroristic threats and various drug offenses.

The driver alleges that Dykstra demanded he change the scheduled destination and threatened to kill him when the driver refused. Police didn’t recover a gun but they found cocaine, MDMA, and marijuana among Dykstra’s belongings.

Dykstra was released on a summons pending a court appearance.

Dykstra, 55, has found himself in trouble with the law quite a bit. He was accused last year of stealing from and trashing a hotel room in the Hamptons. He spent time in jail earlier this decade after being charged with grand theft auto and filing a false financial report. He also sentenced to jail time after exposing himself to women he met through Craigslist.