Your tax dollars at work

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There are ways in which public money is used to benefit baseball that are far more egregious than this — say, in the billions of tax dollars used to give shiny new ballparks to billionaire owners — but this is at least cranky-letter-to-the-editor-worthy, isn’t it?

Hamels threw 82 pitches last Thursday and when he was told his wife had gone into labor, he left the ballpark in the front seat of a police car.

“Best cop ride I had ever been a part of when I wasn’t in the back,” he said. “That was pretty exciting on the streets of Philadelphia.”

“Ma’am, I apologize, but we’ll have a patrol car to your location to investigate those gunshots as soon as we can; at the moment our closest officer is busy driving Philadelphia’s fair-haired boy to a private hospital for the birth of son who will never, ever have to live in a high-crime area.”