And That Happened: Monday's scores and highlights

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Giants 9, Rockies 1: Lincecum comes back after missing a start
and looks pretty good. He’s been sharper — he gave up six hits and
walked four — but he struck out 11 and gave up a single run in seven
innings. San Francisco climbs to three and a half of back of the
Rockies.

Cubs 2, Brewers 0: How many people looked at the schedule last
spring and figured this series would matter? If it had mattered, we
would all be marveling at Ryan Dempster’s clutch September performance
(8 IP, 4 H — all singles — 0 ER). But it doesn’t matter, not by damn
sight, so I’ll use this opportunity to rate the top 5 Swayzes:

(1) Red Dawn: “I never HEARD of it!” Tell me you didn’t
see this movie as a kid and then wish, if only for a few moments, that
the Russians and Cubans really would invade. I had an emergency
backpack full of supplies in my closet and everything;

(2) Road House: “Pain don’t hurt”;

(3) Point Break: Where have you gone Johnny Utah, Buckeye Nation turns its lonely eyes to you;

(4) Next of Kin: This one was more ridiculous that Road House and Red
Dawn put together, yet no one ever mentions it. Greatly, greatly
underrated flick;

(5) Dirty Dancing: I really don’t like this one, but if you were 14
years-old in 1987 and you pretended you liked it, some girl somewhere
was gonna make out with you, and for that dorks like me thank you, Mr.
Swayze, wherever you are.

Yankees 5, Angels 3: Mark Teixeira hit a triple that made Torii Hunter lose his shoe (amazing pic of it here).
Brett Gardner scored the go-ahead run on a double steal + throwing
error extravaganza. With this makeup game, the Angels have three games
in three days in three cities (Chicago, New York and Boston). Later in
the evening as they lied awake in bed, with the echo from the
amplifiers ringing in their head, they smoked the day’s last cigarette,
remembering what she said, etc.

Reds 3, Astros 1: Jay Bruce makes his return after two months on
the shelf and hits the go-ahead single. Outside of that time he told
everyone that he doesn’t care what supplements he takes, I don’t
believe I’ve given Bronson Arroyo a moment’s thought in the second
half. So color me shocked that he now has 13 wins and is threatening to
send his ERA under 4.00.

Athletics 9, Rangers 0: Brett Tomko (CG SHO 5 H) has underwear
older than all of the A’s other starters, but he’s a been a better
pitcher than just about all of them this year too.

Tigers 6, Blue Jays 5: Nobody puts Aubrey in a corner! Down
three in the bottom of the ninth, Huff hits a three-run homer and the
Tigers go on to win it in 10. OK, sorry about that. I’m taking this
Swayze thing a bit harder than I thought I would.

Rays 8, Orioles 4: The losing streak ends in Baltimore, with the
Rays scoring as many runs last night as they did in their previous
seven games combined.

Twins 6, Indians 3: Jeremy Sowers leaves with a 3-0 lead after
seven innings and then watches the bullpen give up six runs in the
eighth. My Cleveland friends are so fed up with this garbage that
they’re actually wanting baseball season to end so they can turn their
full attention to the Browns. Think about that for a few minutes.

Cardinals 11, Marlins 6: St. Louis survives an emergency Todd
Wellemeyer start by blasting the living hell out of Ricky Nolasco, Matt
Lindstrom and three other Marlin pitchers. Matt Holliday = this year’s
Manny Ramirez: he’s batting .371 with 48 RBIs in 47 games since the
July 24th trade. In that time the Cardinals are 33-14.

Dodgers 6, Pirates 2: To the extent anyone was really worried
about L.A., know that 10 of their last 18 games are against Pittsburgh
and Washington, and many of them will likely go like this one.

Diamondbacls 4, Padres 2: Arizona pulls within two games of San
Diego in the battle to avoid last place. Given the absence of any real
pennant races this year, this is worth following.

Bryce Harper is pandering hard to Philly fans

Mike Ehrmann/Getty Images
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Bryce Harper hadn’t even addressed his new hometown fans before his Phillies jersey started selling like hotcakes. Since then, he’s said all the expected things. Talking about joining the Phillies, he said, “From day one, it felt right … I always talk about family and being a family, being one unit, and I get that from this team. Every guy has your back and vice versa. I’m very excited to go into battle with these guys.”

Harper is continuing to pander hard to Phillies fans. Behold his latest Instagram post:

Has anyone ever really longed to see the Liberty Bell?

Harper also famously recreated that Chase Utley scene from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia with actor Rob McElhenney on Twitter:

In Harper’s next post, he will talk about alternating bottles of You-eng-ling beers with glasses of “wooder.” He’ll add that every so often he will treat himself to a steak sandwich with cheese on it, then go home to watch all of the movies in the Rocky series.