Would you rent a luxury apartment if Cole Hamels told you to?

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Maybe I would in the abstract, but after seeing this ad, I think I’d stay as far away from him as possible.  The first one is bad enough, but where did those kids come from in the second?

Personally, I’d like to see this whole campaign reimagined with the 1993 Phillies. Picture Darren Daulton in Cole Hamels’ place and John Kruk posing like Heidi Hamels.

You’re welcome.

Shawn Tolleson retires from baseball

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Evan Grant of the Dallas Morning News reports that reliever Shawn Tolleson is retiring from baseball. The right-hander experienced a setback in his recovery from Tommy John surgery last week.

Tolleson, who turns 31 years old on Saturday, last pitched in the majors in 2016. He had two very good years out of the bullpen for the Rangers in 2014-15, posting an aggregate 2.88 ERA with 145 strikeouts and 45 walks across 144 innings.

Tolleson signed a one-year deal with the Rays in January 2017 before undergoing Tommy John surgery several months later. The Rangers inked him to a minor league contract in December 2017, but he wasn’t able to work his way back.