How not to steal a baseball monument

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ripken_monument_090909.jpgFour men have been arrested on charges of felony theft and destruction of property, accused of removing a four-foot aluminum monument to Cal Ripken from outside Camden Yards on Wednesday.

It took police all of two hours to track them down, thanks to a number of mistakes they made along the way

— They bit off more than they could chew. They took Cal Ripken’s No. 8. There were a number of others to be had nearby, including Brooks Robinson’s No. 5, Jim Palmer’s No. 22 and Eddie Murray’s No. 33. Yet they chose Ripken. You think the police put out an “all-points bulletin” for Eddie Murray? I don’t think so.

— No disguise. The men were caught on surveillance cameras. If you’re going to break the law, wear a mask. Even Phoenix flight attendants know that.

— No discipline. The officers spotted the giant No. 8 in the back of a pickup truck when they responded to a disorderly conduct report. Mr. Blonde, Mr. Pink, Mr. White and Nice Guy Eddie, is that you?

— No money for legal counsel.

There was no indication they had attorneys.

Come on people. Do I have to do everything?

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If you Twitter, and find a life of crime to be incredibly exhausting, follow me at @Bharks.