Bartolo Colon made headlines and made himself the butt of jokes
earlier this week after the portly right-hander somehow went missing
while rehabbing his injured knee at Triple-A. Colon finally resurfaced
Wednesday and tossed five innings of one-run ball last night, but not before Ozzie Guillen offered up his theory on what happened:
I worry about Colon because Colon was a big-time Michael Jackson
fan. He might [watch] the TV and cry all day long. Maybe he is in Los
Angeles at his funeral, because I can’t find him. When he gets to
Charlotte, Oney [Guillen’s son] will call me to say he’s there. Nobody
knows how big of a Jackson fan Colon was. I’m serious. He might be
depressed a little bit.
Since reading that quote I haven’t been able to shake the disturbing
image of Colon wearing nothing but one white glove while doing the
moonwalk back and forth in a Charlotte motel as “Billie Jean” plays in
the background. And now you can try to to scrub that thought from your
brain too. Good luck!