$437,000 arm, ten-cent head

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Crash: Did you hit me with your right hand or did you hit me with your left?

Nuke: Huh?

Crash: Did you hit me with your right hand or did you hit me with your LEFT?

Nuke: My left.

Crash: Good! That’s good; when you get in a fight with a drunk you don’t hit him with your pitching hand. God, I can’t keep giving you these free lessons so quit screwin’ around and help me up.

Braves right-hander Jeff Bennett has been placed on the 15-day
disabled list a day after breaking his left hand when he punched a door
in frustration. Bennett on Thursday said he was angry after allowing
inherited runners to score on Alex Rodriguez’s two-run single in
Atlanta’s 8-4 loss to the New York Yankees on Wednesday night .

Video: Ramon Torres hits little league home run in first at-bat of season

Jayne Kamin-Oncea/Getty Images
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The Royals recalled infielder Ramon Torres from Triple-A Omaha on Saturday. He didn’t get into a game until starting Thursday night’s game against the Rangers, batting ninth.

In the top of the second inning, facing Austin Bibens-Dirkx, Torres laced a single up the middle. Center fielder Delino DeShields charged in on it, attempting to keep Ryan Goins at second base, but the ball went right past his glove, through his legs, and nearly trickled all the way to the warning track. Goins scored easily and Torres was waved home, too. He managed to narrowly beat the throw, touching home plate with his left hand on a head-first slide.

The play was officially scored a single and a three-base error. Torres wasn’t credited with an RBI on the play. But at least the Royals got two runs out of it.