Ryan Theriot

Ryan Theriot Getty

Quiet Riot: Ryan Theriot retires

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He didn’t play in 2013, but it wasn’t for lack of interest on his part. Now he’s done, though: Chris Cotillo of MLB Daily Dish reports that Ryan Theriot is officially retired.

Theriot ends his career with a line of .281/.341/.350 and 17 homers across eight big league seasons with four teams, mostly the Cubs. He may be best remembered among smarty-pants internet people as the inspiration for TOOTBLAN.  And while Cooperstown is not in the offing, he is a shoe-in candidate for the Hall of Guys Who We Remember Playing Some Infield at Some Point Back in the Oughts.

He should probably be inducted alongside Mike Fontenot, who will become eligible for the honor at the same time.

Stephen Strasburg fine after being struck by line drive

Stephen Strasburg
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Nationals fans collectively held their breath after Stephen Strasburg was hit on the arm by a Prince Fielder line drive. A Ryan Theriot line drive, you’re probably going to be okay, but a Prince Fielder liner? I’d preemptively draft a will before ever throwing him a pitch.

Strasburg, though, is just fine. Via Mark Zuckerman:

In the end, there was nothing for everyone to be worried about. The fourth-inning comebacker caught Strasburg on the fleshy pad of his left thumb, not on a less-protected part of his hand, wrist or forearm. And after a couple minutes spent getting the feeling back in the hand and then throwing a couple of warm-up tosses, Strasburg was back to his old self, striking out a pair of Tigers to end the inning and continue his Grapefruit League start unabated.

“It’s fine,” the right-hander insisted afterward. “It just kind of numbed up a little bit out there. It’s a little tender, but nothing crazy.”

In his first full season last year, Strasburg posted a 3.16 ERA, leading all starters in strikeout rate at the age of 23.

Quiet Riot? Ryan Theriot’s playing career may be over

Ryan Theriot Getty
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Ryan Theriot has failed to latch on anywhere this spring. Hank Schulman hears that he’s assessing his options:

 

Which inspires one to wonder: what is an agent’s version of TOOTBLAN?

Anyway, if this is the end for Theriot he ends his career with a line of .281/.341/.350 and 17 homers across eight big league seasons with four teams, mostly the Cubs. Such credentials make him a strong candidate for the Hall of Guys Who We Remember Playing Some Infield at Some Point Back in the Oughts.