Jordan Norberto

Oh joy, we get to revel in PED names being named again

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I assume there is a long German word that describes the simultaneous disgust at seeing PED users’ names revealed and the joy with which we get to shame them. It’s probably something like GreggDoyelSchenfruede or something like that:

I have a list. So do you, right? If you’re a baseball fan and you’re hearing that more names are about to be connected to Biogenesis, the cheatingest PED factory since BALCO, this is where you dig through your mental rolodex for the names of guys you’re sure are cheating.

Don’t worry, Doyel is no going to do so something as irresponsible as name names with no evidence. But he has promised to tell you later if they were on his list. Which, I assume was constructed with great scientific rigor.

What do I look for? I’ll tell you some day, when the list comes out and if any of my names are on there. I figure one of them will be at least. This stuff is easy, really. It’s simple to look at certain guys and just think, just know, “He’s not doing that legally.” Especially given what we know about the nature of baseball, just like the nature of sprinting and cycling. Certain things have never been possible before, and while breakthroughs and advances do happen, there are some ceilings that get cracked that just don’t seem plausible. Not legally plausible, anyway.

So true. I mean, when I look at the feats of Everth Cabrera, Jhonny Peralta, Antonio Bastardo, Francisco Cervelli, Jordany Valdespin, Jesús Montero, César Puello, Sergio Escalona, Fernando Martínez, Fautino de los Santos and Jordan Norberto my first thought is “It’s so obvious. The things they have done are utterly IMPOSSIBLE! Let me go check my list, ah, yes. There they are.”

But I have spoken with Doyel online before and I do believe his anger and outrage at PED users is genuine. I just also happen to believe that he would do better, as would we all, if instead of channeling that anger and outrage into a parlor game of speculation, name-naming and player shaming, we actually thought about came up with some ideas about how and why guys cheat and whether trotting out lists of names for public ridicule and nothing more is the best way to go about it. George Mitchell did that several years ago. It hasn’t really worked out.

But I truly do hope that your list is correct, Gregg. It will truly mean something then.