Angels 4, Yankees 1: Everyone in the New York press corps is busy this morning changing their “when can we get Bryce Harper” or “we could’ve had Makiel Franco” templates to “Mike Trout — from New Jersey! — would look good in pinstripes” articles. The best player in baseball hit a homer and put on a clinic in the outfield last night, running down balls like Willie Freakin’ Mays. Meanwhile, CC Sabathia continued to not get the job done, allowing four runs in seven and a third. Everyone with the Yankees will say things today about how he’s still their big guy and that he’ll come around, but he’s killing the Yankees every time he takes the hill.
Said Trout Clinic:
Brewers 7, Phillies 4: I’m not gonna say my Monday evening sucked, but two things happened. First, Rush played someplace in New York. I know this because I know many, many people in New York, and approximately all (all) of them texted me pictures from the concert, taunting me and trying to get me to admit that I secretly and truly love Rush deep, deep down inside and closer to the heart. To this I say “nonsense!” and now have to spend a good part of today unfriending these people across various social media platforms. You may think this is sad, but the greater tragedy is that I was friends with these people for so long without realizing that they’re the sorts of people who would spend hundreds of dollars to go see a Rush show.
The second thing is that one of the three new kittens I got on Sunday decided that falling down the stairs and breaking the ulna bone in her right leg was a great idea. This led me to be at the kitty ER until 1am this morning in order to get her tiny little 10-week-old foot put in a big ugly splint. That cost $500 AND has the little kitty in a foul mood today.
But perspective matters here, folks. Things could be way, way worse. I could be a Phillies fan.
Last night they, the worst team in baseball, battled the Brewers, who are the second worse, for . . . supremacy? That word doesn’t seem right. Ignomy, maybe? That sounds more like it. Anyway, the “best” team won, with Jonathan Lucroy and Ryan Braun each having a big game. Which makes sense given that they’re two of the only, like, six guys who were on the field last night who belong at the adult table at the Major League Baseball dinner party.
Why yes, I am a tad loopy and sleep-deprived this morning. How are you?
Astros 6, Royals 1: Let’s transition from the battle-of-the-worsts to the battle-of-the-bests. At least the bests in the American League. Which, man, if someone asked you a year ago at this time who the best two teams in the AL would be in late June 2015, you would’ve bet your kidneys that it wouldn’t be these guys. But it was, and on this night the Astros prevailed, with Jose Altuve hitting a homer and Lance McCullers allowing only one run over seven. The guy Altuve is trailing in the All-Star vote, Omar Infante, went 0-for-4. Please, good people, go vote for Altuve. Or even Kipnis.
Red Sox 3, Blue Jays 1: Don’t tell anybody, but Clay Buchholz has been pitching really, really well lately. He won his third straight decision, allowing only the one run in eight innings. He’s allowed only two earned runs over his last 22 frames. The Sox have won six of ten. The AL East is already sorta bonkers. It’d be hilarious if Boston snuck back into the thick of things to make it a five-team battle royal.
Reds 11, Twins 7: Well that was an outburst of offense.Tucker Barnhart had four hits and drove in two. Eugenio Suarez had three hits and drove in three. But speed was the takeaway here, as in the speed of Billy Hamilton, who reached base four times and stole four bases and scored three times in the first three innings. The Reds had a 9-1 lead after three and then let the Twins back in it with a six-run fourth, but that’s all they’d get. The only loss here was a bit of a loss in Mike Leake’s trade value as he was responsible for letting the Twins back into it.
Indians 7, Rays 1: Cody Anderson had a perfect game into the seventh which was broken up by a Grady Sizemore home run. That entire sentence makes no sense, but that’s baseball for you. Anderson ended up pitching eight and allowing only the one run.
Diamondbacks 10, Dodgers 6: Mike Bolsinger pitched four shutout innings but had to be pulled for a pinch hitter in the fifth due to vomiting and cramping, which he thinks was the result of food poisoning or something. Either way, that brought the Dodgers’ bullpen in which blew leads of 4-0 and 6-4 as the Diamondbacks just poured it on in the mid and late innings. Part of the pouring it on was a Yasmany Tomas homer that was subject to a video review when it appeared that a fan interfered with the ball. Judge for yourself:
I feel like it hit high enough on the guy’s arm to where it would’ve been over anyway.
Athletics 7, Rockies 1: Josh Reddick and Ike Davis hit two-run homers in the first inning and Kendall Graveman tossed seven scoreless. That’s about as ideal a game in Coors Field as any team can have. Billy Butler homered too and fell a triple short of the cycle. Good thing he didn’t hit that triple, though. Our nation has seen enough tragedy recently. The last thing we need is to have a major league baseball player drop dead of a coronary between second and third base in the middle of a ballgame.
Rangers 8, Orioles 1: Mitch Moreland homered twice as the Rangers blasted four in all as they rattled off 14 hits. Baltimore’s four-game winning streak ends. The Rangers win for just the second time in nine games.